What To Do When The World Is Passing You By In A Blur

Do you ever have the feeling that there are not enough waking hours in your day?

Do you get overwhelmed by all the tasks you have to do and worry about how you are going to get them all done?

Do you have a lot of commitments and lots of people relying on you?

Do you ever feel like you used to have a life but that is now a thing of the past for you?

 

 

Do you ever wonder why the world is passing you by in a blur?

 

Well, I’m here to remind you that it is all just a phase you are going through and you will get off that crazy merry-go-round you are on. One day.

 

It is so easy to feel overwhelmed, confused, frustrated and angry when there are a lot of ‘things’ we would like to do, or that we have to do, that it does literally feel like life is passing us by in a blur. It seems we are alive but not actually living.

 

 

Here are some solutions on how to cope and see your way clear again:

 

Write a List

Write out everything you can remember that you need to do. Then, write out a separate list of all you would like to do. If possible, write down the dates to be completed by beside each task. Doing this can help you to get a visual so it’s not just all jumbled in your head like some impossible jigsaw puzzle.

 

Do the important or most pressing task first

All the other tasks will get their moment to be completed, or will fall by the wayside if no longer relevant.

 

Delegate tasks to other people

Give other people the opportunity to step up by lightening your work load and giving others more responsibility.

 

Ask for help

It is very wise and noble to let other people know you need assistance or their input to help you complete tasks. Or, even better, giving them tasks so you don’t have to do them yourself.

 

Try to slow yourself, your pace and your racing mind down

How do you do this?

  1. Take deep, slow breaths. This does actually work.
  2. Acknowledge and congratulate yourself on what you have achieved so far before moving onto the next task.
  3. Remind yourself what the outcome will be once you have completed the current task – even if it means you are just crossing another boring job off your list.
  4.  Be kind to yourself. You are human. You are not a machine capable of doing everything all at once.
  5. Go at a pace that is comfortable for you. You don’t need to work or rush as much as other people if it is only going to put more pressure on yourself or if it means making more mistakes or having accidents.

 

When you plate is full of tasks, it is best not to take on any more 

Even if you know you can do the job, even when it is something you really would like to do or be a part of, even when you are begged or being given really convincing reasons as to why you should take it on. Just don’t do it!

 

Take time out

This might seem counter productive when you are so busy, but even just a few minutes distraction can help to spur you on again with renewed energy and focus.

 

Take care of your personal needs:

Adequate physical exercise, nutritious food, drinking plenty of water and having restful sleep.

 

Leave work at work or for your designated working hours / days

Outside of work hours pursue you personal hobbies and remember to enjoy life. You only get one go at it (well in this life time at least?)

 

At the end of everyday reflect

Reflect upon what you have done, the difference you have made / are working towards making, to someone else’s life by the actions you have undertaken and try to find at least 3 things each day you are thankful for.

 

Also,

~ When somebody pays you a complement, be gracious enough to accept it, but also take the time to genuinely listen to what is being said and let it soak in and over you.

~ When someone wants to give you a hug / affection, let them and embrace the moment. Human contact can be amazing.

 

 

Some days – weeks, months even – can sometimes seem to go by in a blur of endless, routine tasks and dullness. The good thing is they don’t last forever and will soon enough be replaced by the moments when you do have quieter periods where you will be wishing you do have more to do again.

 

Be careful what you wish for.

 

Learn to ride the roller coaster of life, work and family with a smile on your face and in your heart so the ride will seem less scary and you will feel more alive and in control.

 

 

My final tip:

learn to say NO!

(with an authoritative tone where there can be no doubt about what you have replied or what your intentions are!)

 

 

How To Change

How many times have you been told you need to change things, or that to move forward you need to let go of the past, or that you need to do things differently?

How many times have you heard it said that in order to move forward you must change your ways?

 

It is alright for the people dishing out this advice and wisdom, but often it is easier said than done, isn’t it?

 

It is easy to say we need to change, but when you don’t know what it is you need to change or you don’t know how to change, what are you expected to do?

 

 

To change means that you either need to do what you are doing in a different way, or that you need to stop doing it altogether to do something else.

 

 

If you are feeling unwell and have been advised to change your diet or do particular exercises, you have been given direct information of what you need to do to make changes, so it is then up to you to make sure you follow through with the instructions.

Or perhaps you have been told to stop eating a particular food as it does not agree with your digestive system. If you follow the advise and change your diet, then you will see an improvement in your health. If you do not follow the advice, you will continue to have digestive issues.

 

These are pretty straight forward examples, but when it is not as straight forward and you have not been given any advice what do you do?

 

You could consider discussing your particular issue with friends, family members, counsellors, medical professionals, work colleagues etc.

You could consider meditation, mindfulness activities, consulting tarot cards or oracle cards or other forms of divination of your liking.

You could also choose to just do your day to day activities in a different order or manner to how they are usually performed.

 

For example, if you would usually put on your right sock first, try putting your left sock on first for a while. If you would usually put your underpants on first, try putting your bra on first for a while.

These simple activities might sound a bit odd and may feel a bit uncomfortable at first as it is not the usual way you do them, but after a while it becomes more normal. The reason for this is because you are activating other areas of your brain that would otherwise still be inactive. Like any new activity it can take a bit of getting used to, but after a while it can become second nature.

 

Let me give you another example. Let’s say you have a particular parking spot you like to use when going out to the shops. Instead of parking in that same area, try parking further away, on a different level, or in another block altogether. This will then force you into changing your routine as you will have to walk a bit further, giving you a bit more exercise, it will allow you time to look at other shops, buildings or nature that you would normally just drive past or not notice at all, plus it gives your body a chance to learn to adjust to a new way of being.

Now this might seem like a very basic step to take, but on your further journey to the shops you may encounter people you have never come across before, it may allow you to contemplate something that has been on your mind bugging you, you could discover new products and your may find you actually like this new parking area a lot better.

Yes you will have days when you are in a bit of a rush and it is quicker and easier to go back to the old parking spot as it may be more convenient, but try to stick to the new way as much as you can.

 

Clothing is another way of making a simple change in your life. If you have been wearing the same style or similar colours for a while, why not be a bit daring and change up your wardrobe a bit by buying or making one piece of clothing in a different style or colour? Even just going to try on something that you would usually not try on can be intimidating, but liberating at the same time. Who knows, you might just find a new style, colour or fit that you didn’t know you had been looking for.

 

Hair style is another option for making a change in your life. I had longer hair for most of my life and a couple of years ago I told my family I was going to get it “chopped off”. They were shocked when I came back and it was short. They knew I was going to get it “chopped off”, but they just thought I meant a little trim like I usually had. It took them a while to get used to it, but for me it was freeing and liberating to have a totally new style. It felt cool and fresh. I liked it. I received a lot of positive comments about it. It was like a new me!!

 

 

To make change you need to let go.

 

I guess that is why a lot of people don’t like change.

 

 

They may feel like they are loosing control. They may feel like they are getting left behind. They may feel like they are happy with the way their life is.

 

 

But when you can be the one in control and calling the shots of what to change and how it will look for you, it is extremely powerful.

 

Your are guiding the changes in a way that suits you.

 

You are in command.

 

You are the driving force.

 

You are doing what you please in a way that is best for you (even when you are unsure of what you are doing, what the outcome will be or what is actually going on).

 

 

When we learn to let go, or when we do the activities that we want to be doing, we are allowing ourselves to be happy, we are allowing ourselves to be adventurous, we are allowing ourselves to be free and we are giving ourselves permission to be.

 

We need to make changes in our lives, one way or another so we don’t become stagnant.

 

We need to make changes in our lives so we can continue to be challenged and so that we can continue to  learn, grow and be amazed.

 

 

Making change does not need to be difficult or complicated.

 

 

Making change can be a simple process:

~   The first step is to realise an area of your life you are not happy with or that you would like to create a bit of spark in.

(Now if you can’t think of any or can’t decide on what to change first, just pick the first thing that comes to your mind.)

~    Secondly, contemplate what it is exactly that is bugging you and why it is bugging your so much.

~    Thirdly, come up with as many ways as you can think up of how you can change the situation to a more favorable outcome or desirable result for you.

~     Fourthly, decide on one small action that you can take to test the waters of your new way of being. Now, be warned that at first it may not be as desirable as you expected, that it may take a lot longer than you anticipated, that you may meet resistance from others or yourself, but, if it is truly what you are wanting, just keep pushing through until you get your desired result.

(Also be warned that you might be happy with the change you made and you might want more!!)

~    Lastly, once you have your desired outcome, celebrate. Let everyone see or know what you have done. Be proud. Stand tall. Own the new you.

 

 

The reason we come up against resistance when we want to change something in our lives, even when we know it is for the best, is because we have become too comfortable or too complacent with how our lives have been. Our mind and our body has gotten used to a particular way of being and doing and it doesn’t always like to be told to do things differently. It sometimes prefers to be on auto-pilot.

 

We need to retrain our mind and body to a new ways of being and doing. It is just like exercising. Yes we know we should do it. Yes it takes effort. Yes it can hurt, but ultimately when we do it and stick with it for a while the pain becomes less, it becomes easier to do, it takes less time to do, we learn to vary our actions to increase the level of difficulty for better results and when we start to see the results from our work we wonder why we didn’t do it sooner.

 

You need to stick with the change even when it feels icky or too too hard. Don’t give in and don’t give up. Give the change a fair fighting chance to become the new normal before you declare it a failure or not one of your better ideas.

 

 

So remember, that to make change we need to retrain our brain and our body.

 

 

Now with that in mind, what areas of your life are you not too happy with at the moment that could do with a little bit of a shake up and change to make yourself feel free and liberated? You do want to feel free and liberated, don’t you???

 

Heart or Head? Which To Follow?

This is one of those age old questions isn’t it? Should you follow your heart or should you follow your head when you have a difficult decision to make?

 

Do you follow along with your heart that allows you to feel invincible, that you can achieve everything and that anything is possible?

Or do you follow your head that is more realistic, practical and often times more sensible?

 

Following your heart makes you happy, it puts a big smile on your face and gets the endorphins (our feel good hormones) dancing, having their own party.

Following your head allows you to see reasonably, it offers up practical advice / solutions which help to keep you safe and keeps you from being too hasty or rash in decision making that you may regret later.

 

Following your heart can often mean that you are acting from impulse or on a whim. You get an idea, or one is suggested to you, it seems like a good idea, you get excited, you see potential and possibilities that didn’t exist to you before. You feel alive, you may even feel euphoric.  You just want to get moving and get started, you have no time to waste, you need to strike while the iron is hot and the opportunity exists. There is something new and exciting waiting for you so the sooner you start, the better.

Following your head can often feel like you are playing safe and not living your life to your fullest or that perhaps opportunities are going to be passing you by. Following your head can sometimes feel like a parent or teacher telling us, yet again, that we can’t do something that we really want to do. Our head warns us of impracticalities, of danger, of pitfalls – all the reasons why we shouldn’t be doing a particular something, even when it can see the benefits being put forward to us as well.

 

We get so carried away in our feelings and our excitement that we don’t often stop to think about what it all really involves or means in the big picture of our lives.

 

A good example of this type of scenario is that of a new job offer. At first it is a bit like wearing rose coloured glasses – everything is tinted pink (a colour of love) so everything has the potential to be wonderful while we get swept up in the promise of all the possible highlights.

We get caught up in the offer. We get caught up in the beauty of the location, we get caught up in the excitement of the people we will be working with, we get caught up in the potential of the people we will be working for, or the prestige, or income we will be earning, or what we could learn, or how much we will grow and develop etc. etc.

It really does sound all rosy, perky and ideal. Our heart has done it’s job on selling us all the benefits, making us excited and wanting us to say “Yes”.

 

Then once we settle down a bit, after the rush of all the excitement and possibilities, our head kicks in for it’s two cents worth of opinion.

 

Yes the location is great, but what about the commute to and from work or having to relocate? What do you really know about the people you will be working with? Will the people you will be working for be nice or are they really dictators and bullies (they have gotten to where they are today for some reason)? What is prestige and what will it mean for you anyway? Yes the income will be a nice improvement but what about the hours you will have to work and is the remuneration package that much better than what you have at the moment? What about keeping up your lifestyle that you are so happy with? Will you really learn that much more with these people? What will further growth and development mean for you anyway?

 

It really does sound like an endless battle with all the questions and all the answers running through your head and heart. A battle that just seems to keep going on and on, around and around, like an endless merry-go-round that just doesn’t seem to want to stop.

 

Heart???

 

Head???

 

Heart???

 

Head???

 

Let me give you another example.

 

The image above was taken a number of years ago and I think you can quite clearly see a pair of dirty pants, a muddy shoe and a dirty sock with a shoe missing.

 

This came about because the wearer was following his heart. He could see the big puddle of water and just couldn’t resist riding his bike through it. It was nearly time to come in for the night, he was full of adventure, he loved riding his bike and the puddle full of water was just too great a temptation to pass up.

 

So, as the story goes, he knew the water was there and he decided it would just be fun to ride through the middle of it. That sounded like a good plan. Hop on the bike, peddle through the water and come out the other side. It sounded good in theory.

 

As you can see the theory had a few flaws. The water was deeper than expected. The puddle was longer than it looked. The base of the puddle was very soft and boggy. The rider was not as good or as strong as he thought he was.

 

Result: making it part way through the puddle, getting stopped by the mud then having to hop off the bike to walk out of the puddle.

 

This was definitely a case of following a heart and not a head.

 

 

So what should you do to work out the best option for you to be taking, or for helping your decision making process to be a bit easier and to stop that endless battle being waged inside of you?

 

 

There are a number of ways that you can start to work out whether you should follow your heart or your head. Some of these include:

 

~ Readdress your offer or whatever it is that has gotten you so excited and confused

 

~ Ask more questions

 

~ Do more research

 

~ Think about what it is you really want to be doing with your life and how this offer fits into that plan

 

~ Discuss your issue with trusted friends, family, colleagues etc. who know and understand you

 

~ Think about what your short and long term goals are

 

~ Consider the impact your decision will have on others around you

 

~ Write a list of pro’s and con’s. Make a list of all the positive aspects and make another list of all the not-so-positive aspects of your proposal or offer. Once completed you may be able to clearly see which list has the most content and therefore the better or easier decision for you to be taking

 

~ Centre yourself. Breath slowly and deeply to calm yourself down so you can think clearly without all the drama that is playing out in your body

 

~ Sleep on it

 

 

That I think is always a very important step to take. It gives your chattering head and turmoil heart a chance to be still while you sleep, allowing your sub-conscious mind to kick in helping you to reset and re-frame what is happening or has been offered.

Usually after a sleep the answer or the actions for us to take are much clearer as we are more gathered and coherent with our thoughts and heart. We can sometimes wake up the next morning clearly knowing which avenue we should be pursuing.

You may wake up refreshed, happy and like a load has been taken from your shoulders, or you may wake still feeling tired, angry, upset or still confused. Either way, you will know the cause and the path you should be pursuing.

 

If sleeping on the matter, allowing yourself more time to contemplate your offer or issue isn’t possible, then perhaps the offer is not the best one for you to be taking up. Especially if it is something you have not given any thought to previously or if the offer seems too good to be true, or too easy a solution or way out for you.

 

 

Also, if you are feeling pressured into making a decision, it is possibly the wrong choice for you to be making. You should always have your own say, have your own voice heard and always make your own decisions.

 

 

It is your life you’re living and YOU are responsible for living it how YOU CHOOSE and not someone else.

 

 

So then, should you follow your heart or your head?

 

I personally think it depends on the proposal, the timing and the circumstances.

 

Allow yourself to get excited, allow yourself to see the possibilities and the potential – both positive and no-so-positive from all angles before making your decision.

 

 

Then,

 

follow your heart,

 

with the wisdom of your head!

 

Fog and Life

This Winter we have seen a lot more fog returning to our area as we have had rain throughout the year. It has been wonderful to have rain again after such a long period without it. It is so refreshing and rejuvenating to not only the plant and animal life, but human emotions and life as well. Having rain also means having fog as there is more moisture in the air and in the ground. They go hand in hand.

 

You can’t see your way through fog. It is sometimes so thick it is hard to see more than a few metres in front of you. You just don’t know how long it will hang around for. You have very little to no idea what is on the other side of it. It seems so mysterious as it cloaks all in a veil of secrecy only to be revealed once you have got to that certain point.

 

Fog isn’t too bad. Most of the time. But lately I have had reason to be up and about driving long distances in it and it hasn’t all been fun.

 

Some mornings the fog is well and truly set in before I have to leave and on other days you can see it start to slowly roll in as I am driving along knowing for sure that I will end up having it for company whether I want it or not.

 

For some reason I tend to tense up when driving in fog. I guess it is the unknown and not being able to see far enough ahead for my liking. I don’t know how far I will have to drive in it before it lifts. It is hard to see other vehicles on the road coming towards me (especially if they aren’t driving with their lights on!!!!!). You don’t always see far enough out from the edge of the road to notice wildlife jumping or scuttling out in front of you. Even when you know the road will bend right or left or you have a long straight stretch in front of you, you still have to sit behind the cars slowly lining up in front of you as it is not safe to pass. Just when you think the fog is starting to thin out and you will be able to see your way clear, or make your break, the fog gets thick again.

 

 

I have been relaxing a lot more with the fog. It could be to do with how much driving I have been doing in it, or it could be my change in attitude towards it.

 

Fog can be very mysterious as it has so many unknown qualities as I mentioned above, but like a lot of events that happen throughout our lifetimes, if we just learn to relax and lean into what is happening, we seem to get through it a lot quicker and it seems to be less painful. I wouldn’t say it gets easier to live with or deal with, we just have less expectations or less attachments to a certain outcome.

 

We grow accustomed to being a certain way. We start to believe we have our life mapped out for us and we think we know what we are meant to be doing and how we are meant to be doing it. We think we know every little bump or road block that will come up, every little twist in the road, every little distraction, every little exist that we will be able to make. But then we get thrown the curve ball and obstacles are put in our way.

 

It could be a sudden life changing event such as an accident, illness or loss, or it may be a slow, gradual event or dawning of awareness that seems to sneak up on us without much notice on our behalf.

 

 

Like everything in life,

it is not so much what it is you have to deal with and need to learn to cope with,

it is how you choose to respond to it.

 

 

Yelling, fighting back and verbal abuse might help to let off some pent up anger and frustration (which can be a good thing – getting rid of pent up emotions, not the abuse), but it is only a short term measure that will only help to alienate you and what you are going through even more.

 

 

Instead you should choose to accept what you are going through,

make yourself aware of all your options and

choose the way you wish to deal and cope with your life circumstance

in the way that will be most comfortable and achievable for you.

 

 

When driving out in the fog we have the option of slowing down so we can react a bit quicker to sudden changes that may need to be taken, such as for reading signs or looking for wildlife. We have the option to leave earlier and arriving later to reach our destination safely. We have the option to put our lights on to make it safer for us as other vehicles approach so they know there is another vehicle coming towards them and also where the road ahead is leading them. We also, sometimes, have the option of staying put and not going out in it.

 

In life we can do the same things too. We can slow down to give our bodies and mind time to rest and recover. We can also leave earlier and arrive later to stay longer or for less time for appointments or events we need to be at. We can let others around us know what we are going through so they can be aware of our circumstances and measures can be put in place to make allowances for us. We can also stay put and do nothing to help ourselves or help others.

 

 

These are all measures and actions we can take in not only driving in the fog, but also in our own lives to make the road ahead for us a bit more manageable. I am not saying that once you seem to be out of the fog that your path ahead will be any easier, but at least it is one more challenge in your life that you have been able to navigate your way through and gain experience from which will make it a little less scary the next time you have to deal with the same or similar situation.

 

 

One thing is for sure though,

the fog will always lift and you will move on to another phase.

One way or another.

 

 

Just like the fog, in life you just need to trust you are going the right way, you are on the right path and you are doing the right thing. You don’t need to know where you are going exactly. You don’t need to know all the details. All will become clear and be revealed to you when you are closer and when the time is right.

 

 

Learn to encompass the unknown.

Let go of your expectations and embrace the feeling of being unsure or confused.

 

 

They are all emotions that need to be felt too and who knows what mystery will be revealed for you at the end???

 

 

Boring Balls

Here is something a little bit different for you. I am going to sharing my recipe of “Boring Balls”!

 

Boring Balls does have a bit of a story to go with it too. When my children were young, around Christmas time, there would be Rum Balls out on the table to nibble and snack on. The children were too young to be having them and as I don’t like Rum or Rum Balls I started making Chocolate Balls instead. I have been making them ever since for Christmas and various other occasions.

 

I will make them to take to parties, I will make them to take around to someone’s house when we have been invited around for tea, I will make them when we have visitors, I will make them as gifts for friends or I will make them to take away on holidays for us as a treat. I will also make them for us to eat just because they are yummy.

 

As my children became older I still made Chocolate Balls because they couldn’t have alcohol whilst learning to drive or whilst on their ‘P’ Plates, plus there were still younger children around at times that we had to think about too and now there are little grandchildren to think about as well. I think it is nice to be able to offer yummy treats like this for everyone to enjoy.

 

Over the years the Chocolate Balls have also undergone some name changes. These include Boring Balls (for which they are now mostly called because they have no Rum or other alcohol in them), Chocolate Balls, Chocolate Coconut Balls, Coconut Balls, Melinda’s Balls and Melinda’s Boring Balls.

 

What ever they are called, they are still yummy all the same, require very few ingredients, are easy to make and don’t cost too much money to make. They do however take a bit of time to make so you have to be patient. But then again, most of the good things in life we have to patiently wait for are usually worth the wait so these are no exception.

 

 

Boring Balls Recipe

 

1 packet (250g) milk biscuits

1/3 Cup (40g) Cocoa Powder

1/2 Cup (45g) Coconut

1 Tin (395g) Condensed Milk

Extra Coconut (1/2 – 1 cup)

 

Crush biscuits and place in a bowl.

Add Cocoa and Coconut (1/2 Cup).

Add Condensed Milk.

Mix all ingredients together.

In a separate bowl place extra Coconut.

Roll small amounts (about teaspoon size) of mixture into balls and then roll in extra coconut.

Place on a tray.

Once all mixture has been made into balls, place the tray in fridge to chill for about 30 minutes.

 

Share with friends, family or just keep them all to yourself. I won’t tell.

 

 

 

Some extra tips about my Boring Balls:

I am not too fussy about how the biscuits get crushed and I don’t mind leaving chunks of biscuits in the mixture. A bit of extra texture is fine and if they last more than a day the biscuit chunks are totally soft like the rest of the mix anyway.

 

Make sure to combine the ingredients thoroughly for an even consistency.

 

You can make these Boring Balls the night before or in the morning of an event you are taking them along to. Allowing the bit extra time in the fridge helps to set them a bit more.

 

You could add a dash of Rum, Kahlua, Baileys or another of your favourite alcohol drinks if you wish to add a bit more flavour or zing. Adding extra liquid may require extra time in the fridge to set (or they may not set properly at all) so be mindful of this. You could add a bit more coconut to help absorb the extra moisture I guess. Also, a little bit of alcohol goes a long way in a recipe like this. The mixture may taste a bit bland to start off with but will become more potent once it has had time to be absorbed and settle. You will also need to remember your alcohol limit and not drink and drive (or eat and drive as may be this case).

 

The balls could also be rolled in chopped nuts, sprinkles, hundreds and thousands, gold flake or any other topping you like.

 

 

Being a Superwoman

I grew up in the 1970’s and ’80’s so I am influenced by a lot that was going on in that time period.

 

There was a diverse range of music – the Disco tracks, the New Romantics, the beginnings of Rap and Hip Hop, Break Dancing and the ‘end’ of country.

The clothes were pretty diverse during this period too. I went from wearing brown flared corduroy pants with white t-shirts, socks and sandals to wearing rara skirts, pastels, fluoros, torn clothes to shoulder-padded jackets and dresses. I mustn’t forget the shot taffeta dresses when going out for special occasions either.

Hair styles had big changes also. I went from having dead straight hair with a cute bob and fringe to long hair with no fringe, to having just my fringe permed, to using lots of hairspray to get the flick at the side just right, to getting the crimper out for a wavy look or for seeing how big and full I could get my hair.

 

I didn’t really realise it at the time so much, not really until the end of the 1980’s, but the roles women had were changing too.

 

I went from a period when women were just starting to emerge from their roles as mum and wife keeping house, to shunning all of this so they could climb the corporate ladder and play in the ‘big time’ with the ‘big boys’. Hence the big heavily padded shoulders in the ‘power suits’ of the time. They were wanting to appear more masculine so they could fit into the cut throat world of men.

Women were wanting to prove themselves and support themselves more. They were not wanting to rely on a male partner for income and they did not want to be at their beck and call either.

 

Even though they were wanting to support themselves and their families, if they had one, they were shunned by women who were happy to be at home doing what they had always done and couldn’t understand why these women were rocking the boat, upsetting the status quo. They were shunned by men in the business world as well who didn’t appreciate their worth and didn’t want them upsetting their status quo either. Oddly enough they were also shunned by other women in the industry as well as they saw them as rivals. They did not see them as equals trying to get ahead or prove themselves just as they were.

 

Despite going outside the house to work, they still had to have tea on the table at a set time, make sure the clothes were washed and ironed, keep the house clean and tidy etc. etc. etc. If these women wanted a job, they had to go out to work for it, but they still had to come home and work in the home as well.

 

Women had to be Superwomen. If they wanted it all, they had to do it all, no matter the toll.

 

 

These women were pioneers and paved the way forward for many more women to be in the workforce today.

 

 

During recent months we have had female friends unwell, in need of hospitalisation or out of action for a number of reasons, which has left their male partners at a loss of what to do. These males had everything done for them by their mothers growing up and then once they were in relationships, by their partners. They were never taught how to cook even the most basic of meals, never shown how to wash up properly, don’t know how to use the washing machine, aren’t sure where things belong in their own house, aren’t aware of their own financial obligations and basically just have no idea how much their partner actually does for them.

 

Now you could argue it’s their mother’s fault for doing everything for them as a child, and it could also be said that at that time historically, that is what a mother and wife did if they were doing their ‘job’ properly. They were looking after their men so the men didn’t have to lift a finger inside the house. You could also argue it is the partners fault for carrying on with these ways or for believing it is sometimes just easier to get in and do it herself.

 

Either way, neither is right or wrong, but there is a solution.

 

The solution is to get your partner and your children – both sons and daughters – involved in what you are doing.

 

 

You don’t need to be ‘Superwoman’ going out to work then coming home to clean up after everyone.

 

 

It is for your husband’s, your children’s and even your own well being, that every member of your household knows how to run a house properly, knows how all the appliances in your house work and knows where everything is kept.

It is for your partners well being so he can look after himself and you should you fall ill or be in need of taking care of yourself. It is in the best interests of your children so that when they leave home they will know how to take care of themselves.

 

 

It is for the whole household that you keep your sanity by having time out from running a household.

 

 

I know some of you will argue that you don’t like anyone else in your kitchen, or you don’t like how slow others are, or you don’t like a mess left, or you can’t wait for others to do it, or they don’t do as good a job as you do.

But how can they if they haven’t been shown or if you don’t let them?

They have to been shown and they need to do it on a regular basis. If you can continue to guide them, then one day they may do the jobs in the same way you do and to your way of liking.

 

 

But you need to show them,

you need to let them keep doing it and

you need to let go.

 

 

It is never too late to start teaching them and showing them the way.

 

Next time you are preparing a meal, get all of them, or one person each night, to be in the kitchen cutting up and preparing a meal with you. You will get to a point where you will not be required in the kitchen supervising so you can then go off to do other chores or to relax. You may even find they like the opportunity to cook.

 

Do the same with clothes washing. Let everyone in your house know that unless clothing is in wash baskets that it will not get washed.  Make sure that everyone knows how to pick up after themselves, how to use the washing machine, how to hang up the washing, how to fold the washing and where the washing needs to be returned to or stored.

You might think it is so much easier to keep peace by doing it all yourself, but it only adds to your work load, makes your children or partner lazy and you are not valued or appreciated any more for doing it.

 

The same goes for other chores in and around the house.

 

 

 Unless you are being paid to clean house, you are not obligated to be treated like a maid.

 

 

You also deserve the peace of mind of sending your children out into the world knowing you have done the right thing by them in teaching them how a household operates. You also need the peace of mind should you need looking after yourself one day that others in your house know how it operates so you can focus on your recovery more.

 

It might be quicker and easier to do the grocery shopping by yourself as well, but this should also be shared and done as a family. This way everyone gets to see how long it takes, what is involved, what choices have to be made, how to budget, how expensive it can be, how hectic it can be and how much running around you have to do.

 

Yes you might meet some resistance, but

 

your time is just as valuable as any other persons time.

 

 

To me growing up, the women going off to work in their ‘power suits’, mixing it with the ‘big boys’ in the corporate world, foregoing their feminine beings and putting off having a family until they had ‘concurred’ the world never sat right with me.

They still seemed to be missing the mark.

 

I did not see them as being feminine because they were trying too hard be too masculine, while still trying to be seen as sexy, and trying to ‘prove’ themselves to men at the same time. I respected the women for wanting to have these roles but not by working them in the same cut throat way that men did. A lot of the time, these women totally put their lives on hold so they could fight for their chance to work trying to make it to the top.

 

They tried to be Superwomen. They tried to have it all. They really did try, but mostly, they failed dismally with little to nothing to show for their efforts.

 

 

To me, being Superwoman is about being smarter.

 

 

Being Superwoman is about sharing what you know with others so you can help them and they can help you.

 

Being Superwoman is about knowing what you want and working towards it in a gentle but targeted way.

 

Being Superwoman is about knowing your strengths and using them.

 

Being Superwoman is about knowing your weaknesses and getting help in those areas.

 

Being Superwoman is about doing what you can and getting help when you can’t.

 

Being Superwoman is realising your challenges and finding suitable ways to overcome them with help.

 

Being Superwoman is about realising when you need to take a break, step back or let others step up and take over.

 

Being Superwoman is about knowing what to hold onto and what to let go of.

 

 

Being Superwoman is not about controlling, but about being in control.

 

 

Have you thought about what will happen to your children when they are old enough to leave home, how they will look after themselves?

Have you thought about what would happen to you if you take ill or can’t get around so well and then it is up to your partner to look after you?

How much easier would all of this be on you if you had taken the time to teach them what you know?

 

 

Freedom

The other night I was watching a documentary about women who had escaped from their tyrannical families and now consider themselves free – even though they were still on the run and in hiding so they couldn’t be found to be taken back for punishment and imprisonment again, or worse.

 

I don’t like watching shows like this as it always makes me sad that this sort of behaviour still goes on in societies around the world today. I am not blind to the fact that it even happens in our own ‘free’ country of Australia. The only difference is the way in which it gets covered up. It makes me sad for the women themselves, it makes me sad for children involved, it makes me sad for their families and it makes me sad for all of us as a human race in general that this sort of behaviour still exists.

 

Money, believed power, blackmail, bullying and threats do not make you a bigger, better person, it only makes you weaker, more shallow, darker and more weighed down. It is never right or ethical. It never makes you a happy person and it never is ever justified.

 

Here in Australia I believe we are truly living in one of the best countries in the world. Yes we have droughts, yes we have bush fires, yes we have flooding, but these are a part of nature that we learn to live with and live through. It is a part of evolution, or God/Goddess’s way, depending on your view point.

 

Our government, despite what some people may have you to believe, is relatively democratic and fair. Our justice system does have a long way to go before I would could it just and appropriate, but we are free to make choices and we are free to live in relative peace without the ominous threat of warfare, terrorism or extortion on our doorstep on a daily basis.

 

I have never lived in another country or in another society to what we have here, but immediate family members have. I have heard some of their stories they have shared with me, and I am truly thankful each day that this is the country they decided to move to and call their own.

Whenever I walk outside, or even just look out the window to watch the world go by, I say a silent thank you to my family for making this place their home. The older I get, the more thankful for this I am. I don’t know if it is something that comes with age as I have lived more, experienced more, seen more, heard more and done more, or if it is purely sentimental or emotional. Either way, I am truly thankful.

 

The cold is one thing I dislike and despite the fact I don’t like Winters and it gets colder here than what I like, I learn to live with it and appreciate it’s beauty. I have learnt to understand that Winter is a time for rest, a time for death or going within so that new things can be born and come to life with the approaching Spring. I could not image growing up or living in the countries my families came from to be here. Winter here means we can still get outside and move about, we don’t have to feel like we are trapped inside and we don’t have to go cold. We have the choice to venture out in it or not. We have the choice of how we heat our homes and how we stay warm.

 

 

That is one thing that Freedom does mean – Choice.

 

Freedom means we have options and choices.

 

 

If there is something we don’t like, we can choose again another option. It may not be totally what we would prefer, but it will either make the first option look better or worse – depending what is being offered. Either way, it is still an option and a choice for you to make.

 

As a society in general, we have a choice in jobs we take, clothes we wear, how we style our hair, what car we drive, how to spend our money, who we socialise with, where we live, what we do in our down time, when to party and celebrate, when to rest and recuperate, what shows we watch on tv, what phone provider we have, what we search for on the internet. There are just so many choices we have and we take them for granted. We truly are privileged, in that sense.

We may gripe and grumble about our jobs, about our income, about the weather, about our clothes, about our cars, about a number of other insignificant matters, but we always have a choice and we always have the option to do something differently to change our circumstances.

 

 

 It is up to us to change what we are not happy about, but at least we have the choice and at least we have options.

 

 

Yes this country does have laws and structure in place, but that is for the good of our society as a whole. It also means that these laws and structures can and do get updated from time to time as it takes into account the way our society is changing and adapting to new ways of life. Admittedly, the laws are structures are not always as up to date as they need to be, but in general, as a whole, it works. Again this is a choice that allows for our freedom.

 

Perhaps you are at work at the moment reading this. Does your boss know that you are reading this article at the moment? Aren’t you meant to be working? Will you get fired for reading this if your boss finds out? Is it an article you will share with colleagues and family members? Would you get into trouble for sharing this type of content? It is highly unlikely that anything untoward will happen to you for reading this, let alone if you are reading this during working hours. You see, that in itself is a freedom of choice. You have the freedom to read this even though you are employed to be doing a particular job at this time and you aren’t doing that job. Freedom.

 

Next time you are sitting in traffic grumbling about how long it is taking, or next time you are grumbling about how cramped the public transport system you are using is, remind yourself it is your choice, that you have other options and you have that right to choose how you get about, where you work and where you live. That is freedom.

 

Freedom does not necessarily mean you can do what you want when you want with no strings attached or no consequences. Freedom does not mean having to be alone or by yourself. Freedom does not mean you are cut off or exiled. Freedom does not mean free.

 

 

Freedom is about having the ability to choose what path you will take, about the choices you will make according to your own values.

 

 

Freedom is about living a life that is making you happy.

 

 

Freedom is about not just living a life, but thriving in that life so you can grow, expand your knowledge, change your beliefs, experience more and not just wonder about life and other ways of being, but being able to learn about them, experience them and sharing what you have learnt with others.

 

 

Freedom is wonderful so please don’t take it for granted. Please try to always remember to look around you, to take in the beauty of nature, of the beauty in the man made structures even, and be thankful we have them as they can make our life much easier or bearable.

Please also try to be thankful for your freedom as there are many women, children and even men in not only our society, but all around the world who do not have the freedoms, the options, the choices we have.

 

For me personally, one of the highlights of my freedom is the place I call home. The house I live in, the land it sits on, the town it is in, the region it is situated in, in the country it is, cut off from the rest of the world, almost isolated, by a vast expanse of water.

 

What are some of the choices you are free to make, or that you have made and that you take for granted?

 

 

 

 

Isolation Fantasy

I have to go into isolation.

I will be cut off from everything for 14 days and 14 nights.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with me.

There is no reason given as to why I am in isolation.

There are no excuses.

There is no way out of it.

I am in isolation and that is the end of the matter whether I like it or not.

 

I try to look upset and confused when I am told that I will have no contact with anyone for the next 14 days and 14 nights. I am told I have only a couple of minutes to grab anything I think I may need or want for the next 14 days and then I am on my own.

I get a few movie DVD’s and a music CD player, my boomerang pillow, the kettle, some tea, sugar and some bottles of water. I say goodbye to my family (from a distance) and slowly close the sliding door behind me as I enter into my period of isolation.

 

Our house is large enough and designed in a way that it is so easy for me to live in isolation and still have comfort and freedom of movement.

I will still have my own bed, I will still have an en-suite, I will still have my studio, I will still have a lounge room. I have everything I will need.

A camp table has been set up at the sliding door that stands between me and the outside world. This is not only a physical barrier, but is also the place that food, drinks, or anything else for me will be left so that no one will have to come in contact with me.

 

It was so hard to keep my excitement under control. It took everything in me to not show my elation.

 

Can you imagine it:

No house work.

No dusting.

No cleaning floors.

No cleaning bathrooms.

No washing clothes.

No washing dishes.

No preparing meals.

Not having to think about what to prepare for meals.

No having to shop for groceries.

No having to clean up after anyone else.

No washing the car.

None of the everyday chores we do on a daily basis.

 

My mind starts to plan. What to do first???? Will I become a lounge lizard and binge watch movies??? Will I rearrange my wardrobe??? Will I sort through my stashes of fabric??? Will I finish reading my book??? Will I just laze around doing nothing much at all??? Will I have a sleep???

 

There are so many possibilities and 14 days seems like a long time, but still not enough time to do all I want.

 

Sewing. That is definitely top of my list to do. But what to do first?? Do I finish off the patchwork queen sized (or larger) quilt top I started years ago? Do I start the elephant quilt kit I have had for a while? Do I make a start on the hedgehog quilt pattern I have? Do I make some clothes for myself? Do I make some clothes for my grandchildren? Do I make some of the stuffed toy patterns I have?

I am like a little child at Christmas in a toy store and told I can have anything I want. There are too many options for me. It is almost overwhelming.

 

In the end I decide to turn my Jelly Roll (pre-cut strips of fabric rolled together in a cute little handsized package) into a quilt to use when I am sitting on the lounge. This is the project I start on as it is a simple, straight forward design I will be making and I don’t really need to think about how it will come together. I can basically just sit and sew.

 

The next 14 days and 14 nights seem to go by in a blur. I spend a great deal of my time in my studio cutting, sewing and creating many projects. When I get too tired or when I take a break I do some stretching and exercises, I read books and watch a few movies. I get up when I am ready to get up. I go to bed when I am ready to go to bed. I have peaceful, uninterrupted sleeps (yes such a thing does exist). I listen to music when I need to feel alive or when I need to feel grounded and connected. Food and drinks are left for me at the door on a regular basis. I speak to loved ones on the phone. I am cared for. I have no wants.

 

All too suddenly my 14 days in isolation are up. It is time to go back to the real world and face people and responsibilities again.

 

I open the door on the 15th morning. My family are standing on the other side with sad, fallen faces. For some reason, they do not understand, I am required to spend another 14 days and 14 nights in isolation. I manage to show shock and surprise – which I am. How can it be that I have spent 2 weeks closed off from the world and now I have to spend another 2 weeks by myself?

 

Aw well. If that is what they say, I must. I close the door behind me once again. I go to the furthest place I can find from the door and as quietly as possible do a happy dance with a big grin on my face. How lucky can a girl be? I get to do it all over again.

My isolation fantasy.

 

Now don’t get me wrong. My family is absolutely wonderful. We get in and do jobs together. We get along really well. We enjoy each others company. But sometimes, it would be nice to not be mum or wife or have responsibilities, to just do the things I want to do and to be able to do them uninterrupted or do them when I feel like doing them.

 

I have managed to turn my fantasy into reality. Well a bit of it.

The list of sewing projects I had was piling up on me and it was gnawing away at me so even though I wasn’t actually in isolation I decided that I would spend any spare time I had sewing. It is such a wonderful feeling to be creative, doing something you love and watching it come to life as you spend time working towards its completion. My end result is a quilt that is large enough to wrap under my feet and legs then go all the way up to my neck when I am sitting on the lounge of a night. It is large enough that I will be able to snuggle with all my grandchildren at once and it is large enough to be used as a blanket on a bed.

 

You see, like a lot of things in life, if there is something you want badly enough, you have to go out and make it happen for yourself. We can all laze about day dreaming till the cows come home, but that doesn’t make life happen. We need to take action, we need to make plans and we need to work towards it.

In my case, to give you an example, I got help in the kitchen with preparation and cooking of meals, I asked for washing to be hung up or to be bought back inside. When I was busy sewing, my family were doing their own thing in their rooms or outside so I was left uninterrupted for short periods of time.I I stayed up a little bit later than usual. I got up a little bit earlier than usual. Instead of having a rest on the lounge in the middle of the day, I went and sewed instead. I decided to sew instead of watching tv or reading. I made it happen for me.

 

I am sure each of us has some project, some hope, some wish, some fantasy we would like to see come true. It doesn’t matter what it is. It doesn’t matter how long you have had it. It doesn’t matter if you have never spoken of it to anyone. What does matter though is that you have it, that you work towards it on a regular basis and that you see it come to fruition. It is no good having a fantasy and not doing anything about it. Yes it can make you feel good to be thinking about it, but it can also make you frustrated when you have been thinking about it for so long and you are still no closer to having it.

 

If you were told you had 14 days and 14 nights to do what you wanted, whenever you wanted, with no responsibilities, no cares, in isolation, what is it that you would want to spend your time doing? What is it that you would want to have with you? What dreams would you be able to make come true?

 

What would you like to do once your 14 days and 14 nights were up?

 

How can you make it happen in your life now out of isolation in the real world you live in?

 

Baking A Cake

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Baking a cake is easy. You just get some ingredients, mix them together, put them in a tin and then put it in the oven to cook. Hey presto, you have baked a cake. Easy.

 

But, if you learn at home or think outside the basic square, you will find that baking a cake is a lot more complex than that. Baking a cake incorporates all of the Key Learning Areas (KLA’s) that are requirements for learning in schools (at the moment). It covers English, Maths, Science, TAS, HSIE, PDHPE, STEM, Language and Creative Arts.

 

Let me explain & break it down a little bit more.

 

English – reading, comprehension, vocabulary

Maths – time, temperature, measurement

Science – chemical reaction, matter, elements

TAS (Technology and Applied Studies) – product manufacturing, equipment use, evolution

HSIE (Human Society and It’s Environment – History, Geography, Economics & Culture) – history of cooking, appliances, traditions

PDHPE (Personal Development, Health and Physical Education – health, safety, wellbeing & physical activity) – physical movement, nutrition, abilities

STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering & Maths) – creativity, critical thinking, + above points for Science, TAS and Maths

Language – communication, culture, terminology + above points for English & HSIE

Creative Arts – creativity, appreciation, making + above points

 

Then we can have deeper discussions (as well as experimenting, watching videos, doing more research, exploring, artwork etc.) within these areas to learn more about various aspects of baking a cake such as:

 

Wheat production:

William Farrer; various forms of wheat and what they are best suited for; climatic conditions; geographical terrain; soil types; water requirements; yield production; Sunshine Harvester; harvesting machinery and equipment; grinding and production; different forms / types of flour; gluten; packaging; distribution; transportation, etc.

 

Eggs:

Monotremes; why we use chicken eggs; weighing of eggs; egg sizes, colours and shapes; structure of an egg (shell, white, yolk, membrane etc.); decorating; painting; dying; carving; blowing; fertilisation; various bird species; Australian bird species; bird habitats; bird foods; predators; feral animals; migration; bird development; feathers, etc.

 

Sugar:

Climatic conditions, geographical location, harvesting, processing, various forms of sugar (apart from sugar cane, e.g. fruits, milk, words ending in ‘ose’ ); natural vs. manufactured; role of Islanders and Indigenous people; living conditions and work conditions; exporting; dissolvability; why we use sugar, etc.

 

Milk:

Enzymes; lactose; intolerances; milk sources; mammals; plant ‘milk’; why we use mainly cattle milk; climatic conditions; cattle food eaten; how milk is collected; traditional method of milking vs. modern ways; milk processing; pasteurisation; homogenisation; milk containers; other products produced from milk; milk use in beauty and skin products, etc.

 

Combining of ingredients:

Manufacturing of products used (e.g. glass bowls, plastic measuring cups, silicone baking mats, metal cooling racks, etc); why we use different materials for different roles (e.g. properties, availability, technological advancement, etc.); traditional method and tools vs. modern appliances; time taken and time management; chemical reactions; change of state (liquid / solid); physical action and muscles used, etc.

 

Baking of cake:

How electricity is made, stored and distributed; substation function; power lines overhead vs. underground; radiation; alternative forms of power (e.g. wind, solar, water, physical etc.); other cooking sources and how they are produced (gas, pyrolytic, conventional, microwave, solar, wood, radiant etc.); oven temperatures; Farenheit vs. Celsius; telling and measuring of time; how to prevent a cake from sticking in the pan; knowing how to tell when a cake is cooked, etc.

 

Decorating a cake:

Edible toppings / decorations (e.g cinnamon, coconut, sprinkles, fruit, nuts, chocolate – how they are grown / processed / manufactured / come from etc.); food dyes; natural vs. man-made, etc. Other decoration pieces – what they are made from; where they came from; how they are made / painted / decorated; why we decorate cakes, etc.

 

Candles:

Natural vs. chemical / man-made; wicks; candle manufacturing; colouration and decoration of candles; why we use candles on cakes; why we make a wish when we blow out a candle; other uses for candles (e.g. lighting, lubricate stuck materials, seal documents, ‘secret’ writing etc.), etc.

 

Serving of a cake:

Material cake is placed on (e.g. glass, wood, metal, ceramic. etc.); how it is manufactured / made; material used to cut the cake; material used to place served cake onto; utensils used to eat cake and what they are made from, etc.

 

Senses:

What does it taste like overall? Can you identify any of the individual ingredients? Would you use this recipe and ingredients again? What did it taste like raw compared to cooked? What did it smell like raw? What did it smell like being cooked? What did it smell like coming out of the oven? Does it have a smell once it is cooled? What colours did you notice of the individual raw ingredients? What colour did it end up once the ingredients were all mixed together? What colour did it have once it was cooked? How crumbly is the cake? Is the texture smooth or rough or sticky? How dry or moist is the cake? etc.

 

Tradition:

Traditionally recipes were handed down in families from observation, then by telling of recipes, then by writing them down and swapping them amongst friends, but now we can access them on TV shows or the internet. Where did this recipe come from? What are your handed down family recipes? Roles of women and mothers in cooking for families and how this is changing due to women working outside of the home more, etc.

 

Technology:

How food was traditionally stored; how food is stored today due to inventions such of refrigerators, freezers and dehydration; more even and moderated cooking of food due to being able to keep a constant heat; how our food choices have changed over the centuries and decades; multicultural foods and ingredients; foods used in celebrations; foods used for celebrations, etc.

 

Other topics to consider could include:

Store bought / mass produced vs. home-made; shelf life of food items; preservatives; additives; food colouring; distance food travels to get to your home; supporting local farmers and producers; buying Aussie to keep Aussie people employed, etc.

 

So next time you bake a cake, or cook anything at all for that matter, spare some thought for all that goes into providing the ingredients and other materials needed, share your knowledge and have a discussion about all the different ‘subjects’ you are learning about. There really is so much more to baking a cake than just mixing ingredients together and cooking it.

 

Enjoy your cake.

Each Day Is A New Day

One thing that I remind myself each morning when I wake up and don’t feel like getting out of bed or don’t feel like doing anything, is that it is a brand new day and I get to have a brand new start.

 

Each day is a new day to do life.

 

Even when there is a mountain of work to be done, even when there are challenging personalities to deal with, even when we are feeling unwell, even when the weather may be unpleasant, even when we can’t be somewhere we would prefer to be, even if we can’t be doing the one activity we would like to be doing, it is a new day.

 

It is a new day to live again.

 

We may be faced with the seemingly same obstacles and challenges as every other day, but how we choose to view them and how we choose to deal with them is an entirely different matter.

 

When you can re-frame what is happening in your life or when you can re-frame what you have to deal with, it makes your life that much better.

 

 

Even though it may seem we are on a never ending treadmill or hamster wheel, we do actually have choices in how we live our lives.

 

 

If you start your day being determined to have a good day, you will.

 

If you start your day determined to be happy, you will.

 

If you start your day determined to be yourself, you will.

 

If you start your day determined to ignore that which usually gets you riled up, you will.

 

If you start your day determined to get a lot done, you will.

 

If you start your day determined to make changes, you will.

 

If you start your day determined to accomplish, you will.

 

 

Whatever you start your day out determined to be, it can be.

All it takes is a shift in perspective or mind set.

 

 

It is all too easy to get around in an unpleasant, grumpy mood, hating the world, hating yourself, hating everyone in it, hating everything you do and hating in general, but that is not doing you or anyone else any good. (Plus, it is so exhausting living life that way.)

 

 

Instead choose to start your day in a more pleasant and uplifting manner. Choose to ignore negative comments and brush off negative people, choose to be polite and courteous even if others around you aren’t, choose to be productive and accomplished because it makes you feel better, choose to work at your own pace and not someone else’s, choose to have a smile on your face and in your heart, choose to be happy, choose to love yourself, choose to be YOU.

 

When you start your day out in this way, it makes a big difference to not only you, but others around you. Your whole world changes – and that can be a good thing.

 

 

You see, as each day is a new day, a new start, you too get to have a new start and have the chance to change what it is you are unhappy or uncomfortable about. You get to start again and you get to choose how your day and your life will be. We don’t live a Groundhog Day with the exact same day playing out for us day in and day out with no change to it whatsoever. We get to make changes and we get to choose how we will live.

 

 

You don’t live your entire life in one go. You live your life one day at a time,

one moment at a time.

 

 

It is your beliefs, your attitude and your behaviour in each of these moments

that shapes your life and the type of person you become.

 

 

BUT, each new day and each new moment, is a new chance to change aspects of your life you are unhappy or uncomfortable with so that you can be the person you want to be, surrounded by the people you want to be with, in a way you want to be living.

 

Try something new today and this week, by making the effort to change your outlook on what you have to face in each moment as it is presented to you to see how you can change your day and life, one moment at a time.

 

It is YOUR life after all, and you get to choose how you live YOUR life, each new day.

 

Autumn Equinox 2020 – Finding The Balance

Life for most, if not all of us at this moment is a little bit crazy, uncertain and unusual to the way we are used to living. My life is no exception to this either.

 

My world feels a little bit out of control due to: this pandemic sweeping the world resulting in, to quote the Prime Minister, “ridiculous” behaviour by some people in regards to their shopping sprees / hoarding resulting in shortages of most goods for the rest of us; the piling up of sewing projects to be finished and new ones to be started; a book to finish reading and then 3 more by the same author ready and waiting to be read too; an accumulation of ‘stuff’ which seems to have piled up making its own little community over time which is now hard not to ignore; the housework needs doing; clothing and linen need to be washed and ironed; book work my son needs to be caught up on; recent rains have lead to weeds jumping out of the ground which need to be removed; not sleeping very well lately meaning I am tired, plus I have lots of ideas running rampant in my mind at the moment. There just seems to be no let up.

I feel like my life is a little out of control at the moment because it is.

Some of this is my own doing, some is the doings of other people that I then become a third party to that I have to live with as a result or consequence of and some is way out of my doing or control.

 

 

It is also Autumn Equinox.

 

 

What is that and what has it got to do with anything else going on at this time you ask?

Well, a fair bit actually.

 

Autumn Equinox is a time of year where basically everything is equal: day & night, good & bad, light & dark, potential & limitations, forward momentum & set backs.

 

At this time of year, for us sensitive souls, we feel an energy change as the relationship between us mortal beings with that of our ancestors and other celestial beings is closer or more intensified as the world above becomes more equal with the world below. It is a brief time of the year that is most intense on the day of, as well as a day or two either side of, the equinox (March 20th) where our life circumstances become highlighted for us.

All our potential and all our abilities are highlighted making us become excited and we invite more in. All our limitations, all our faults and all our previous set backs also come flooding back in to remind us of where we have been and what our past struggles were.

Hopefully we can learn from these to move past them this time around.

 

We are being given the opportunity to see what we can have moving forward, or what our next actions should be, at the same time as being reminded of where we have been and what we have overcome.

It really is a potent and special time.

 

 

What you need to do at this time is try to be open and receptive to any dreams,

thoughts, ideas and suggestions put forward to you so you can work out a way

to progress and live in a way that can be more harmonious and more of in line

with who you really are.

 

 

This particular time of year, and by the way we get another one at the Spring Equinox (September 22), is about finding your balance.

It is about what you need to be doing in balance with what you want to be doing. It is about action, in balance with rest and thought. It is about readjusting your life that has become tilted more to one way of being so that you can live more harmoniously again. It is also about being aware of what no longer serves you or suits you and discarding it, minimising it, so that you can invite in, and do, more of the actions and plans that are better suited to who you are now or who you are working to become.

 

My plan of action moving forward is very simple and straight forward. It is to put back in place and re-implement a routine, of sorts, that we got out of doing. We have certain activities that need to be done each day and each week, like any household to run efficiently, and we need to get back to that. We need to find our balance again between house, work and play.

 

 

This is the time of year for all of us to find our balance again, to make our lives

more in tune to how we want to be living our lives and not just being alive.

 

At times this might seem like a scary transition for us to be making, but I think it

is much scarier to think that if we don’t make the changes to do something

different that our lives will remain the same.

 

If you are in need of a bit of help to find your balance again, why not purchase you own copy of “Inspiring Year Planner” to help you find your way. It is not just a stand alone Planner, as you also get monthly emails prompting and reminding you to check back in with your Planner and to add to it, but to check back in with your life too. It is a way to help you decide what you would like your life to be and steps you can take to help you get there.

 

Also, if you are getting the calling that you need to be getting rid of things out of your life to make way for the new or because you are feeling weighed down at this time, the Inspiring Melinda “Guide to Cleaning Up, Clearing Out, Decluttering and Simplifying” might just be what you need to help you find where to start, what to remove and how to go about it. It delves into not only the rooms and cupboards of your house, but many other areas and aspects of your life that you may not have considered before that don’t usually get addressed but may be causing issues for you as well.

 

At this Autumn Equinox 2020, where in your life are you out of balance?

What measures need to be put in place for you to restore harmony and balance back into your life?

Once your balance is restored, how do you expect to be and what do you expect to be doing as you move forward with your life?

 

 

Be gentle with yourself and others around you as you find your balance again.

 

Be reminded that this is just a phase in your life and it too will pass.

 

Be reminded also, that this is your life and how you decide to live it, the

decisions you make and the way you choose to live your life is

YOUR decision.

 

Seeing Our Own Potential

How is it we see the potential in other people, but seldom or never see it in ourselves?

 

Is it just some sort of fault in our beings? Is it some sort of defence mechanism? Is it some sort of past life vow? Is it some sort of religious belief and teaching that has gone on for far too long? (a bit like the old belief that only priests and ministers of faith being allowed to talk to God so that only ‘He’ could tell us what we should be doing or that only ‘He’ could see our potential.)

 

I truly believe that each of us has lots of, possibly endless, potential and possibilities of what we could achieve, if only we knew about it or knew how to go about it.

 

 

Is seeing our own potential something that gets knocked out of us as children growing up – being told by our parents, teachers, elders, etc. that we can’t do something we want to do?

 

I don’t believe we should just say “No” to someone when they have an idea or plan for something they would like to do. “No” is such a definitive word. I think we should be giving an explanation as to why they can’t do it instead. It doesn’t have to be a long explanation, but at least this way, hopefully, they can see the reason behind your answer. It could lead to discussions about possible flaws with their plans and ways it could be overcome, or why postponing, allowing more time or changing direction slightly may have a better outcome for them.

 

 

Do we not see our own potential because we play small, never rising to the occasion to step up to take ownership of our own lives and what we believe in?

 

Some of us lack confidence in our selves and our own abilities to see past the fear and paralysis to see anything else.

 

 

Seeing the potential in others is much easier because it is not our life. We aren’t looking at everything that is limiting their beliefs in their abilities, we can only see the benefits, how much difference they could make for themselves and others, how well they could do because of their abilities / knowledge / experience / energy etc. We are only seeing the good, not the pitfalls, financial constraints, peer / social pressure, limiting beliefs etc.

 

 

Some of us have so many thoughts and ideas it’s hard to make heads or tails of them all. This can then lead to doing nothing at all as it just becomes too confusing and overwhelming. This is potential just being wasted, being left to wither and die.

 

 

How could we overcome these traits we have so that we too can see our own potential and act on it?

 

~ Start taking note and write down your ideas and plans when you have them – some will stand out more than others or will come up repeatedly (choose those ones as they are calling out to you the loudest).

 

~ When you are told “No” or that you can’t do something, challenge it, ask why. This may help you to see pitfalls or lack of planning that you can then work on some more and give further, more detailed thought to.

 

~ Believe in yourself – other people believe in you and you should believe in yourself as well.

 

~ Find more of the people that will to help bolster and support you and your plans. Encouragement and enthusiasm from others goes a long way in helping you to stay focused and realising your potential.

 

~ Keep reminding yourself why you want to be doing this specific ‘thing’ and keep working on it or towards it.

 

~ Patience, tolerance and perseverance – you will need this for not only your project, but for yourself and other people as well. It is all too easy to give up on our plans when the going gets a bit rough, and this may be one of the reasons you no longer see your own potential – you have given up and given in too many times in the past.

 

~Talk to yourself – remind yourself constantly how good you would be at it. Talk yourself up. Be your own #1 supporter and cheer leader.

 

~ Write yourself affirmations and then read them on a regular basis.

 

~ Look in every mirror you come across to tell yourself why you should be following through with your plan and realising your potential.

 

~ Having a big picture plan can help you to see your end goal and what you want to achieve, helping you to see some of your potential, giving you something to aim for, but it is the planning and the little steps you take along the way and the processes that you put in place that help you to be the person you need to be when you aren’t quite there yet. It is realising your potential and then doing something constructive about it and towards it.

 

~ Surround yourself with love – objects you love, sights / images you love, people you love, scents you love. Breathe in love. Remember love.

 

~ Make time to ‘go within’ – to mediate, to sit in quiet contemplation. What would you like to be doing? Allow the answers to come to you.

 

~ Remember you are a powerful being with much wisdom – follow your wisdom and your heart.

 

~ Embrace your maiden aspect – regardless of which phase of life you find yourself in physically at the moment. Invite in the new beginning, be excited for the new, have fun and free yourself from the self-imposed shackles that are holding you back.

 

~ Make the time to pursue your possibilities, passions and potential.

 

~ Nurture your soul and honour it by doing what you love and what you believe in.

 

~ Honour yourself by helping others – pass on your knowledge, your wisdom, your experience and your loving compassion by following and sharing your potential.

 

~ Write out lists of possible benefits for you, and for others you may be helping along the way when you realise your potential and act on it.

 

 

So now you have some ideas on how to see your own potential,

How long will it take for you to see your own value and worth in your potential?

 

How long before you start putting some of your hidden potential to good use and start living YOUR life??

 

Do You Have A Personality Change When On Holidays?

I am sitting underneath the shade of an old oak tree with a wandering dog to my back as I sit and write at an installed table and bench seats in a camping spot by a river.

 

I am outside, in peace and comfort as I am holidaying. I love the freedom.

I can still keep the wheels turning and functioning. I can still stay in touch and communicate with those people who are important to me or who I need to be in touch with. I am being free with very few limitations and very few cares. Exactly how life should be.

 

All around me ants are scurrying, doing what ants do, searching for food. Birds of many sizes and colours are perching in branches, swooping in, out and around or are soaring in the sky. Some sing their melodious songs while others are screeching their calls for all around to hear. Acorns randomly plip, plop and shower down all around to leave their little green produce that seem to be wearing rolled up edged beanies on their heads, scattered all over the ground. The water rushing over the rocks in a torrent not far away can be heard, but is not too loud. The friendly black and white Border Collie dog belonging to the people in the pub up on the hill is a frequent visitor to all in the park, as if the welcoming host checking in and to report how everything is faring. Occasionally I hear a plop and see a ring widening in the water where a fish has jumped up and broken the surface of the water. Every now and then the wind blows enough to allow the leaves on the branches to move causing them to make their own unique songs. Life is serene.

 

There are other people here too. I am not alone.

They are mostly sticking to themselves and going about their tasks as they see fit.

 

Mornings are usually social and busy. People waking from their sleep in motor homes, caravans, buses, tents, swags and even a hammock. It is a slow progression, everyone waking up, saying “good morning” to others as they pass each other on the way to and from the amenities block, making breakfast and getting ready for their day ahead. For some this means another day of sitting back in their camp chairs to read and nap. For some it is a time to be spent on the river fishing. For some it is a day spent in the car seeing the sights and taking in the offerings of other towns, attractions and places of interest or beauty with this as their base camp. But eventually, one morning for all of these people, ourselves included, it is the day we pack up to leave.

Packing up day can be a challenge for some as they try to work out how to pack everything back up and fit it back in for their next destination, whether that be home, or on to a new place to call home for a night, or a few. For others, packing up day can be simple, straight forward and no fuss.

 

I have come to notice the different types of people around here using this area too and I wonder if they are the same type of person they were before coming to this camping spot. The type of accommodation they have, the way they interact with others, the way they set up and the way they pack up I think reveals a lot about these people.

 

The majority of the people here are what are termed ‘grey nomads’. They have worked all of their lives, they have the grey hair, they have left family behind, in some cases even sold their homes and everything they had owned to buy a mobile home and head off for the rest of their able lives to travel around seeing Australia.

Some of these nomads, as I mentioned, now have all of their possessions in their car, bus or van with them. That is the rest of their lives. These people also tend to be the ones who sit at their camp site all day to read a book or to just watch what is going on around them, not doing much at all, disappearing into their homes just after having lunch (presumably for a sleep), reappearing late in the afternoon (5 O’clock / Beer O’clock) in time to have drinks, make a simple tea, have a shower and disappear back into their little house just as the sun goes down. They stick to themselves, don’t really go anywhere and don’t really do anything at all. Have these people always been this secular and dull I wonder?

 

Other campers here, and that you will find in most places, are the young and carefree in tents. They have minimal supplies, usually heading off early of a morning for a hike or kayak, coming back towards the end of their day of exploring to have their tea and either another early night, or a more rowdy time spent around a camp fire to ponder the true meaning of life, solving life’s mysteries and other conundrums that have been discussed and debated for millennia.

There are the bikers here too. They usually have shorter stays and return to their actual houses when they are done. These people usually travel as a group or as a couple, staying close by each other as they camp. They tend to be the friendliest and most social of all the campers.

Both these types of people seem to be rather carefree, joyful and have a love of life.

 

The caravaners are a funny group of people though. They tend to segregate and classify themselves according to what they are towing.

Big, flash, new, expensive motor home owners seem to be at the very top of the pecking order and seem to look down upon those that don’t have the biggest, flashiest, most expensive home like they do. A little bit further down the chain are those with the big, flash, expensive caravans and brand new 4 wheel drives. A bit further down you have those with average sizes caravans and vehicles along with the average sized and older motor home owners. This is followed by those with older style caravans and camper trailers and lastly, those living out of vans or old buses that have been converted into homes. The pecking order is very apparent and just as in life before roaming, order and status seems to be very important – that is to the people who care about these things at least.

Caravaners in these places also tend to only socialise with those in similar forms of accommodation to what they have and wouldn’t be seen to be socialising with those with less than their standard.

 

It makes me wonder sometimes, what these people are like in the real world, in the world they came from or in the world they will return to.

 

Are they normally that selective and secretive, almost afraid of society as they appear to be now?

Did they have a boring 9-5 job, no social life, no interests in life and have set off to travel because that is now the ‘done’ thing to do?

Do they really have an interest in what they are doing or again, are they just following what the majority are doing?

Are they really the type that goes off exploring and trying new foods and experiences?

Did they do anything like this before?

Is this something they had always dreamed of doing?

Were they always the social butterflies, or is that something they have become now they are away from everyone and everything else they know?

Are these people actually the same people they were before, but just in a new place?

Have they reinvented themselves to become someone they really aren’t or to become someone they always wanted to be?

 

As for me, well I’m the same when I go away as I am at home. I still enjoy my solitude and my quiet time. I still enjoy exploring and going to new places. I still enjoy learning and seeing new sights, but basically, I am the same. I can sense who to talk to and who to stay away from which suits me just fine. I am happy to be me, no matter where I am. I am more than happy with my own company, but I am equally happy to chat with others I connect with. Give me warm weather, a good book, some sewing, good food, family and friends and I am set. I need nothing more. I am no more outgoing. I am no more reserved. I am just me.

 

What about you?

Are you perhaps friendlier and more outgoing or are you more withdrawn and reserved when you go away on holidays?

Do you pursue things in the same manner as when you are at home or do you do things differently?

Are you still happy in what you are doing or are you happier?

 

Do you have a personality change when on holidays?

 

 

Common Questions Asked About Homeschooling

By now you might know that we have a son that learns at home and is not in main stream education. When this is mentioned to some people they look at us as if we have just spoken another language, landed in from another planet with two heads or as if we have crossed some unknown and unspoken about (to us) religious or moral taboo.

So I thought it might be interesting to give you examples of some of the questions we get asked on a regular basis, along with some answers given or that I would like to be giving instead:

 

 

Q: If he doesn’t go to school, how does he learn?

A: He learns in lots of ways.

 

~ He can’t learn because he doesn’t go to school.

~ Oops! I knew there was something I was forgetting: to enroll him in school so he can learn.

~ He learns in the same way most people do. By looking for answers.

~ We use some workbooks and textbooks similar to what is used in traditional schools. We talk to people, we go for walks, we play games, we read books, we watch movies and documentaries, we go places, we use the internet. We are always learning no matter where we are or what we are doing.

Question for you: How do you learn?

 

 

Q: Where does he learn?

A: He learns at home. That’s why it is called home schooling.

 

~ He doesn’t learn that much so it’s not really that important.

~ As he is schooled at home he doesn’t really learn that much as we are rarely at home.

~ We had to have a separate building built out the back to use as a classroom because you can’t learn anywhere except in a classroom.

~ I’m not really sure where he learns stuff from.

~ He is learning everywhere we go and by everything we are doing. You don’t need to go to school to learn and you don’t need to be in a classroom with your head in a text book to learn.

Question for you: Where do you learn new things from and do you have a classroom to learn in?

 

 

Q: If you don’t have a classroom or a set place to school, how does that work?

A: You don’t have to be in a classroom to learn.

 

~ He doesn’t learn because we don’t have a classroom or a dedicated place for him to learn.

~ We haven’t got around to building a classroom yet so he will just have to wait until we have one I guess.

~ He learns by going out to meet people, travelling to new and familiar places, he may be at home or in another state. He loves his beanbag, hammock, the lounge and being outside cuddling up to the dog while learning. He has been taken to parks, rivers, mountains, hospitals, waiting rooms, clearance sales, garage sales, museums, art galleries, historic places, performances, exhibitions, theme parks, he works, he builds things… the list just goes on. (Also check out “Where We Do Our Learning” for more information.)

~ It is not so important the location, but the experience and the actual ‘what’ that has been learnt that is important.

 

 

Q: Does he sit exams and tests?

A: No.

 

~ Yes.

~ Some people make their children sit exams and tests, but we don’t.

Question for you: Do you sit exams for all the things you have learnt? How much knowledge have you retained from all the tests and exams you sat for?

 

 

Q: If he doesn’t sit exams or tests, how do you know if he is learning?

A: We just know he is.

 

~ We don’t know if he is learning.

~ We just take it for granted something is sinking in and are hoping for the best.

~ He doesn’t need to sit exams or tests because we are there with him all the time as he is learning so we know if he is understanding what is going on. If he understands something really well we will skip over it or not do it at all. If he is struggling with something we will slow down, take our time and find different ways to explain or demonstrate it until it does make sense to him. We have that flexibility that you can’t get in a main stream institution.

~ Exams and tests only exist in main stream institutions for two reasons. Firstly, because you are not there with your child as they are learning, you have no idea what they are up to or how well they understand concepts so the school sets tests as a way of relating this to you. Secondly, exams and tests are an indication of how well, or not so well ,the teacher has taught the students in the class as a whole and in particular your child. If the whole class, or the majority of them scores low, it is not necessarily a reflection of your child or the class, but more importantly a reflection that the material has not been presented in a way the children understand. Even when it is only your child scoring low, not enough attention is being focused on your child in a way that is appropriate for them to learn.

Question for you: Have you ever looked at your child / children’s exam or test papers? Did you understand the questions? Would you have been able to answer the questions? Did you have any idea of what was covered in the subject they were taking / learning about before the exam / test was sat?

 

 

Q: So, if you don’t have exams or tests, does that mean you don’t have mid-year and end of year report cards either?

A: Yep.

 

~ That’s correct.

~ Wasting paper, wasting ink and wasting our time when we could be doing more meaningful and fun things instead?

~ He has a big enough head as it is now without praising him any more.

~ Why bother?

~ It’s not justified or warranted.

~ Some parents go to the trouble of printing out reports for their children, but we don’t see the need for it.

~ He doesn’t need a piece of paper to tell him something he already knows.

~ There is no need to send a letter to myself or my partner telling ourselves how well our child is doing at his learning as we see it all the time.

~ He gets told all the time how well we think he is doing and learning, at the time, when it is happening, when it is the most important.

 

 

Q: Will he go to high school?

A: Yes.

 

~ No.

~ He is already smart enough so I don’t think we will waste our time with it.

~ High School? You mean the place up on the hill above us?

~ He will be doing high school work, but he will continue doing it from home.

Question for you: Did you go to high school?

 

 

Q: Will he do his HSC?  (Higher School Certificate – Final exams at the completion of year 12)

A: Probably not.

 

~ No.

~ Yes.

~ I’m sorry, I don’t have my crystal ball on me at the moment to tell me what the future will bring.

~ He is just not that interest in it and would rather be out doing more constructive things so I dare say he won’t go on to complete year 12 and will leave to get a job / apprenticeship before then. I just don’t know what he will do and we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

Question for you: Did you complete your HSC? How did it help you to get to where you are today?

 

 

Q: What if he wants to go to Uni?

A: He goes to Uni.

 

~ Uni? What’s that?

~ He doesn’t want to go o Uni.

~ Aw well. Looks like he can’t go because he didn’t go to ‘school’.

~ Same as anyone else: he can apply to go; he can get in as a mature age student; he can sit an entrance exam. As a home schooler, if he did want to go to Uni, he would probably get in easier and above your child because they tend to be preferred over institutionalised children. Home schoolers tend to be more focused, self-driven and have a real want to be doing the course in the first place so they are often given first preference. Home schoolers tend to be able to plan better, think for themselves, are more self-reliant and better able to work out problems themselves or know where to go to for the answers they are seeking.

Question for you: Did you go to Uni? Did you finish Uni? Are you in the same profession as what you studied for in Uni?

 

 

Q: Does he have friends?

A: Yes.

 

~ No.

~ Because he doesn’t go to school he doesn’t know what friends are.

~ He hasn’t asked for one yet.

~ Is he meant to have friends?

~ What would he do with a friend when he has me instead?

~ Why would he need a friend when he has family?

~ We are afraid of germs / religion / bullying / conflicting ideas (whatever takes our fancy at the time, or all of them just for the fun of it) so we don’t allow him to have friends.

~ Of course he has friends. He has lots of them.

Question for you: Do you have any friends?

 

 

Q: Where does he meet friends / people?

A: Lots of places.

 

~ When we let him out he runs and runs. I guess he must meet people when he is running.

~ He doesn’t have any friends yet.

~ He doesn’t know any people yet.

~ The same way anyone makes friends and meets new people, by talking to other people.

~ He has friends that go to school and friends that don’t go to school. He meets people when out socialising with his friends, when we go places, when shopping, when visiting family and as part of groups we belong to. Everywhere we go and with most things we do is an opportunity for him and us to meet new people and friends.

Question for you: Where do you meet friends / people?

 

 

Q: Does he have friends his own age?

A:Yes.

 

~ No.

~ He is way too mature to be with kids his own age.

~ He is way too immature to hang with kids his own age.

~ Kids his age just aren’t good enough for his personal growth and development for him to be around them.

~ Of course he does. He also has friends younger than him and older than him. In fact, he has more friends now than when he was at school with children his own age. He is happy to be with and socialise with people of all ages. It’s not really important what ages his friends are.

Question for you: Do you have any friends you own age?

 

 

Q: Does he play any sport or do any physical activity?

A: Yes.

 

~ No.

~ No he is too lazy for that.

~ Of course he does. He wouldn’t be that tall and skinny by genetics and metabolism alone.

~ Yeah right. Does it look like he plays sport?

~ You have to have friends to play sport and as he doesn’t have any friends he can’t play sport.

~ Sport? What’s that?

~ He rides his push bike, rides his scooter and chases the dog, but no he doesn’t play sport or have any form of physical activity.

Question for you: Do you play any sport or have regular physical activity?

 

 

Q: What happens when he asks you something you don’t know or can’t teach?

A: We work it out.

 

~ I tell him it’s not important to know the answer.

~ I tell him it’s nothing to worry about and to forget about it.

~ That doesn’t happen for 2 reasons: 1. Because I am female, and 2. Because I am a mum.

~ I don’t know if you have heard about this thing, or if they have it where you come from, but it’s called the internet. It is like having a heap of the most intelligent mums of the world right in front of you. You type a question into your computer and whalah! Up comes the answer. It even has colour and pictures, but best of all….. moving pictures called videos!

~ We know lots of people so if there is something else we need to know we can ask them.

~ There are many places and people you can go to and find answers you are looking for. You just need to look for them in the right places and ask the right people.

Question for you: What happens if you need to know something you don’t know about yet?

 

 

Q: You must be so smart (ok, more of a statement than a question)

A: Yes.

 

~ Not really. Anyone can do it. Even you could.

~ You don’t have to be that smart.

~ Not all teachers are that smart you know. It’s pretty easy.

~ The internet and tv are my best friends. Without them to entertain and educate my child, I just don’t know how he would get by.

~ It really isn’t that difficult to do. But it does take patience, tolerance, understanding, time, patience, tolerance, understanding and time! (The reason I say that twice is because it is true.)

 

 

So there you have it, some of the questions that are most commonly asked about homeschooling.

I had thought about calling this post “Stupid Questions We Get Asked About Home Schooling”, but usually the questions have been from people with a genuine interest in what we are doing but with little to no idea how it is managed. It has been written in what is meant to be a fun manner, but at the same time informative as well, so I hope you enjoyed reading it and learnt something as well. Gosh! You may have even learnt something without being at school, in a classroom, with friends your own age!!

 

Help! I Don’t Know What I Am Doing!!!

How many times in your lifetime have you said, “Help! I don’t know what I am doing?”

 

How many times have you actually said it out loud?

How many times have you actually asked for help?

How many times have you actually gotten help from someone?

How many times have you helped yourself?

 

 

I am willing to bet that the majority of the times you have said, “Help! I don’t know what I am doing”, it has been quietly to yourself. I would also say that you have more than likely found a solution all by yourself as well.

 

Nothing wrong with that at all. Nothing like getting the brain working putting it to use trying to solve your own conundrum.

 

 

How long did you keep saying, “Help! I don’t know what I am doing”, to yourself though?

How long did it take for you to come up with the solution you needed to help yourself?

 

If you are anything like me, you probably said, “Help! I don’t know what I am doing”, waaaaay too many times to keep track of and it took even longer for you to come up with a suitable solution.

 

 

Why do we do this to ourselves??????

 

Is it because we want help, but we are not sure who to trust?

Is it because we want help, but we are not sure who the best person to help us is?

Is it because we want help, but we can’t afford the solution we think will deliver the best outcome for us?

Is it because we want help, but we don’t want to let anyone know we are stuck / confused / overwhelmed (insert any other predicament in here)?

Is it because we want help, but we are scared / afraid of what others will think / say of us and our need of help?

Is it because we want help, but we really haven’t narrowed down specifically what it is we need help with?

 

 

How can we get help if we don’t know exactly what it is we need or want help with?

 

We need to break our “Help!” down.

 

 

To give you some ideas on how to get closer to figuring out what it is you need Help! with, ask yourself some questions, such as these:

What outcome is it that I am actually wanting to achieve?

What is it that I actually want to be able to do or have that I don’t believe I have at the moment?

How will the help make a better / significant / positive change to my life / circumstance from what it is now to how I think it will be?

 

Does my need of Help! have anything to do with:

My location?

My relationship?

My temperament?

My addiction?

My go to habit?

My mindset?

My beliefs?

My stubbornness?

 

Is the Help! I am looking for:

Personal?

Professional?

Technical?

Psychological?

Environmental?

 

Is my need of help actually real or just perceived to be real?

Is my need of help something that is actually warranted or is it just an excuse?

 

 

Sure in some cases, like when you are in water and are having difficulties, people can see that you are struggling and will help to get you out of the water and to safety without you even asking, but most of the time people are unaware of our need or want of help.

 

 

Asking for help and saying you don’t know what you are doing is really courageous.

 

 

It lets other people see that you are failing / struggling / in difficulties / are uncertain, but that you want to make changes, you want to learn, you want to grow, you want to do something different.

 

 

So once you have figured out exactly what it is you are in need of Help! for, actually start asking questions and looking in the right places for answers.

Keep looking, keep asking questions.

Listen to and take on advice you are given, then implement it to see if it will make the difference you are looking for.

If it’s not the outcome you are after, keep looking, keep asking for help, keep letting others know you have tried but you still don’t know what you are doing.

Keep asking and keep looking until you find the solution or person that is right for you, that is willing and able to give you the help you are wanting.

 

Also, just as importantly, once you have your help and the outcome you were wanting has been achieved, let others know that you needed help, that you didn’t know what you were doing, that you reached out and that you found your answers. Share these results with other women so they too can follow by your example and perhaps use some of your solutions for their issues too.

 

Don’t be greedy. Share your experiences and outcomes so that other women can have breakthroughs and feel just as triumphant and accomplished as you do.

 

 

Remember Love

You know us women are usually much stronger, much tougher and more resilient in our selves and in our determination than we give ourselves credit for.

 

We have all had those moments – days, weeks, months, years even – when we are feeling lost, lonely, sad, heartbroken, unable to feel like we can move forward or live a proper life ever again. But there is something that propels us forward. Something that makes us get up out of bed. Something that seems to be forcing each new action and event in front of us to deal with.

It may be stubbornness. It may be fear. It may be resilience. It may be done in a blur of tears. It may be done with you unconsciously aware that you are going about your day and your activities seemingly on auto-pilot. But you find yourself up, about and active again.

I think it is probably a combination of all of the above that gets us moving again. But also LOVE.

 

Even if we are heartbroken due to a relationship being dissolved – for whatever reason – it is LOVE that propels us forward giving us hope, a reason to continue and carry on again. Even when we feel like we are unloved in the present moment.

 

You might feel like shutting yourself up in a darkened room, shutting yourself away from the world, trying to make yourself unrecognisable or invisible, but eventually the world comes seeking you out. It finds you and you find yourself being forced back into the swing of everyday life once again – even when you feel like it isn’t your time yet and you aren’t ready.

 

It may be the love of a person you have lost recently. It may be the love of those around you presently. It may be the love of someone from deep in your past. It may even be the love you have of yourself. It doesn’t matter where the love comes from – it is love all the same.

 

That love gives you a sense of self-worth, a sense of self-belief, or worthiness, of invincibility. That love allows you to believe in all sorts of possibilities. That love allows you to dream big, to soar high and to be your best at everything you do and choose to be.

 

Somehow, some way, deep down inside of us when we are aching, when we are in despair and when it seems like we can go on no further, love helps to heal us.

 

Love gives us hope and belief again, gradually, that all will be ok and life will get better again one day.

Love gives us a glimmer of hope that we can be strong again, that we can carry on again.

Love helps to warm our heart which lets us know that we will be just fine again – but in a different way to the way we had been.

 

Love and the memory of love helps us to get back our self-worth, our self-belief, our worthiness, our courage, our strength and our invincibility. This love truly is like a flame of a candle (or a bushfire depending on how intense it feels). But despite the fact that it may seem like it gets extinguished, it can be ignited and brought back to life.

We slowly regain our flame. We slowly regain our life.

All from the memory of being loved and what it means for us to be in love or to have been loved.

 

It may be to honour the memory of someone, it may be to help heal others deal with a similar issue to what you have been going through, it may be because that is the only thing holding you together or it may be because it is the only thing you know.

It doesn’t matter what, it doesn’t matter why. It just matters that it is.

 

Remember what it is like to be loved. Treasure that feeling. Keep being reminded of it. Keep the feeling of love alive inside you.

 

 

Remember you have been loved in the past.

 

Remember you will be loved in the future.

 

Realise you are loved in the present moment.

 

 

Use this love to help propel you forward, to help you heal, to help you see magic and beauty all around you and use this love to help you BE again. Then go and make magic happen for yourself and others by spreading your love.

 

This Is As Good As It Gets

 

We all go about our lives doing our usual tasks day in and day out without really giving it much thought.

We get up out of bed, we do our usual morning routine and we go off to work or do our usual day time tasks. In the evenings we do our usual evening routine or tasks and then at the end of the day we go to bed. Next day we wake up and do it all over again. Same shit, different day.

 

Until one day something happens to us, and it interrupts our day and our life. It may be a sudden event or it may be a gradual dawning of something not being right or not being able to be done the way it was once done.

You may have lost a member of your family, you may have been involved in an accident, you may find yourself in financial difficulties, you may have relationship issues or you may find yourself with a medical condition that is painful, debilitating, chronic or terminal.

 

You find your mind and your time taken over by your circumstances until that is all you talk about, all you think about and all that your life is consumed with now. This is your new life. No one understands what you are going through. No one can help you. You are permanently stuck in this new reality. There is no hope. There is no way out. You are stuck and this is going to be the way it is for the rest of your life.

The rest of your life is going to be spent without that special someone you once had by your side. The rest of your life is going to be spent living with the consequences of the accident you had. The rest of your life is going to be spent with financial limitations. The rest of your life is going to be a struggle with bad relationships. The rest of your life is going to be painful and debilitating until you finally succumb to your medical condition.

 

It is so easy to get caught up in what we have going wrong in our lives that we only tend to focus on the here and now. The most pressing. The most obvious to us. Whatever we are going through in that particular point in time. There is nothing else. There is no reprieve. There is no respite. There is no alternate. This is how it is going to be from now on

 

What if someone said to you “This is as good as it gets”?

 

Would that make a difference to your life, the way you see your circumstances, the way you think, the way you do things?

 

 

What you are going through in your life at this moment may just be as good as it is ever going to get!

 

 

You may not have a special someone to live out your life with. You may not be able to live your life the way you did before your accident. You may not have the amount of money you believe you need to have now or that you once had. You may not ever have a relationship like you dream of having. You may not be able to live out the rest of your life without pain or restrictions.

 

This is your life now and this Is as good as it gets!

 

What do you do now?

Do you bury your head in the sand and moan and groan about your issue or do you find some help or reprieve?

Do you just do the best you can or do you give in and not do anything at all?

Do you ask for help or do you keep fumbling along until you can’t do anything at all any more?

Do you sit around to feel sorry for yourself and cry and cry and cry until you can’t cry any more?

 

You bet your arse you do. Crying is a good release of energy. Crying helps us to feel sorrow, to feel the pain, to acknowledge that something is happening to us that we don’t like. Crying is a way for us to be able to see how miserable or stuck or painful our lives are at this moment. Crying allows us to acknowledge what is going on in our lives. Crying allows us to feel the hurt, the anger, the pain, the hopelessness of our situations.

Crying allows us to have a good sleep once we have exhausted ourselves from all of the emotions coming to the surface from not only our current circumstances, but also from our past experiences too. Crying allows all the emotions to flow so that we can see where we have had similar experiences in our past, it allows us to remember what we did in the past to overcome this similar experience, as well as allowing us to get pissed off and really, really angry. That anger is a way for us to realise that we have had enough of feeling the way we do, being treated the way we are and it allows us to realise that we deserve better for ourselves.

 

Or, do you do nothing and keep complaining about your life and your circumstances?

You very well may. For a while at least, but it would be my wish for you that this doesn’t last too long.

 

 

You are too precious and you deserve to have a much more fulfilling and memorable life.

 

 

Please, instead choose to be proactive and active in your choice to choose a different way.

Yes there may still be restrictions and limitations that are unavoidable, but there is also hope. Hope, determination, will and spirit.

 

 

You can choose to keep living your life the way it is at the moment, or you can choose another way of being.

 

 

Talk to people. Reach out to people to let them know of your experiences or your situation, you just never know which person will be the one that can help you or lead you onto the path of your new life. Do your own research to find other options and other alternatives that can help you out. Ask for a second, third and fourth opinion if you feel that you are not being heard, not being understood or not getting the answer you know is right for you.

Most importantly, keep living a life. Keep believing in a better way forward for yourself. Keep striving for a better way. Keep moving forward. Keep looking for answers and a way out or a way to ease your circumstances. Just keep going. Life can get better, it will just be different to what it has been.

 

You may be reading this article and be thinking your life is pretty good and cruisy at the moment, just how you like it to be. If that is you, fantastic, I am truly happy for you. Is there anything else you could be doing? Is there something you would like to do or experience that hasn’t happened yet? Is there a contribution to society in general or someone in particular you could lend your help or expertise to? Is there some way that you could make life for another more comfortable or fulfilling? Is there anything you can do to help make someone else’s life more rewarding for them?

 

I believe that we all have our own little dramas and days when life just seems to suck the big one, where we are able to have a little sulk and whinge and then generally bounce back. It is when we get the big curve ball served up to us that really rocks our world and tears it apart that we need extra care and extra time to understand what has happened to us and what it means for us from this point on. If you are in that place right now, take the time to grieve, take the time to dwell in it for a while so you know what it feels like, take the time to re-evaluate your past experiences and take the time to talk with others about your experience.

But ask yourself: “What if this is as good as it gets?”

 

What do you not like about your current situation?

How would you like your life to be?

What can be done to change your current situation?

Who can you talk to about your situation?

Who can you ask for help?

How long are you prepared to keep living your life in this way?

Will you choose to change your life?

 

 

What will you do when you realise:

This Is As Good As It Gets!

 

 

Living A Simple Life

Our life is uncomplicated. Our life is simple. This is of course compared to other people we know or shows we watch on tv.

When I say our life is uncomplicated and simple I mean that we don’t seem to have the arguments, dramas and busy schedules of those around us or that we watch.

Some of this I guess can be attributed to the fact that we learn at home and therefore we don’t have the big rush first thing of a morning to get children up and ready and out the door before they have had the chance to wake up properly. It also means we don’t have the big rush after work and after school of getting home, cooking tea, washing and cleaning, doing homework and getting ready to do it all the same again the next day.

We are not involved in organised sports or out of school extra-curricular activities, so again, no rushing.

Some of this simple life I guess is due to the fact that we don’t really go out to ‘work’, so again there is no early morning rush.

 

We live a simple life because we have very little conflict in our lives and our relationships. We get on well as a couple and as a family unit. We are able to work together, work alongside each other, have the same or similar goals and we are striving together to achieve what is important for all of us – both individually and as a family.

 

Our life is simple because we keep it simple.

 

Simple to us means that we don’t put crazy deadlines on ourselves. We work towards getting a job done, not work towards a timeline.

It seemed to take forever to put extensions on our existing house for this very reason. We didn’t borrow money to get it done quickly, we worked at it bit by bit when we had the money and time to do the next bit. Rather than taking 6 months to complete, it took more like 2 years. We were happy to be making progress and we could also sleep at night because we knew we didn’t have a huge debt from borrowed money hanging over our heads. Yes it was frustrating at times not having it complete and it seeming to drag on forever, but we knew we were doing the right thing for us.

Our house is not fancy or flash. We live within our means. If we want something that we don’t have, we save up our money before we go rushing out to buy it. By saving our money first we don’t have the stress and worry about making repayments on loans, mortgages, overdrafts etc.

We don’t buy fancy clothes, shoes, food or anything else for that matter.

 

So you might be thinking that we lead a very dull and boring life by now, but you would be totally wrong.

 

We are learning alongside each other and from each other every day in all the activities we do. We keep fit in our own ways by the work we are doing, going for walks, riding bikes, riding scooters, stretching and exercising in our own ways that suit us and that can be done at a time which suits us best. We are out with friends and family every week catching up with them and meeting new people. We are able to sleep at night knowing we don’t have impossibly huge mountains of debt we have secret fears we will never be able to pay out. You can’t get much simpler than that.

 

For us, living a simple life is about living a happy life.

 

When you are happy, everything you do in your life is much more relaxed and more enjoyable.

 

For us, living a simple life is about having dreams and goals, both individually and as a family that we are all striving towards so that even though we are working towards these for ourselves, the whole family is able to participate in and benefit from them as well.

As an example, Inspiring Melinda. It is a dream of mine to help other women in this world by passing on my experiences and knowledge. This can be done through this website, so that is a dream being achieved by me. For my family, they know that by helping me prepare meals, doing washing and other household chores I am able to concentrate on getting my job done. For them it can also mean time for them to spend doing something they enjoy such as riding a scooter, tinkering with a car or being out socialising. The big goal for me and for all of us is to be location independent so I can continue to do this from wherever I may be. This includes family visits and traveling around for holidays which benefits the whole family as we enjoy traveling.

 

Something else that I believe helps us to have a simple life is organisation. I love to be organised. I love everything to be neat and tidy. I love to be able to see where something is at a glance. I love going to a place and knowing exactly what I should be able to find there. I am one of those people that when asked where something is I can tell you exactly where it should be. For example, ‘Where are the rolled oats?’ ‘Right in front of your nose. Third shelf up, behind the sugar, under the coconut at the back of the cupboard.’ I don’t even have to be in the house at the time of answering because everything has a place.  

 

Many families, or should I say parents, believe that their children have to be busy from the moment they wake to the moment they go to sleep with organised activities.

How many out of school activities are your children involved in?

Do your children actually enjoy these activities?

Do your children actually want to do these activities?

How many out of work activities are you involved in?

Do you enjoy and want to do all the activities you are doing?

 

How much time do you actually spend at home?

How much time do you spend as a real family / couple, talking and communicating face to face in person?

 

When was the last time, if indeed at all that you have asked these questions?

 

If you lived a more simple life what would it look like for you?

If you lived a more simple life, what would you be doing differently?

If you lived a more simple life, what would it mean for your family?  

 

I know these are ‘what if’ questions, but sometimes we need to take the time to reflect on these type of questions in an attempt to make changes to our lives, especially when our lives seem to be crazy and spiraling out of control.

It can be challenging for people to let go of their ‘crazy’ because it is the only thing they know. It is like a blanket they have cocooned themselves up into and they have no idea they don’t need to be so wrapped up and isolated by everything they are doing.

 

The funny thing to me is that a lot of people will tell you that you have to get out and be part of organised sports, you have to socialise your children with extra activities, you have to give your children all the experiences you can so they can go on to achieve amazing things with their lives.

I agree with them to a point.

You see, once you start taking on too much and doing too many activities, you burn out, you don’t enjoy it any more, it’s a drag and you start to hate it. Then one of two things seems to happen, you either go numb and keep going on because it is habit or you go numb and get really sick from resentment and exhaustion.

That is not for me.

No thank you.

 

I will keep my simple life any and every day thank you very much.  

I always try to live simple. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

 

When it doesn’t work I cut out whatever is irritating me the most and causing the most worry or stress or I cut out that which doesn’t resonate with me as strongly as others any more.  

 

Three things help me live simple.

 

One is by being happy.

Two is by having dreams that I am working towards.

Three is being organised.  

 

To help me live simple, I write in my Inspiring Year Planner (only available for a limited time at the end and beginning of the year) which I look over, read, review and add to on a regular basis to keep me on track of achieving what is important to me, to add the next dream or goal and to be reminded about what is important to me so I can keep my life simple.

I also write in my diary every day and I exercise regularly.  

 

Now have a think about your life:

Do you ever question what you are doing with your life and where you are headed?

Do you ever question why your children are doing so much?

Do you ever question why your children are getting so tired?

Do you ever question whether you and your children want to do all these activities?

 

Do you ever crave for a day at home to just be?

 

Do you need to start looking into dropping some of what you are doing to start living a more simple life?

Letting People Know of Your Dreams

Funny how we doubt ourselves, second guess ourselves and keep putting off doing something we feel or know is right for us – especially when we need to involve other people, including our partners.

We have preconceived ideas about what we think others are going to say or how they will react. We believe that it will all be negative. We believe they won’t ‘allow’ us to do it or that they won’t think it is worthwhile or a good idea.

 

At times we talk ourselves out of our dreams and pursuits before we even mention it to others.

Is it because we don’t actually, really want these things?

Is it because we have been given ‘chances’ in the past and blown them or haven’t seen them through so we get too scared to ask again in fear of rejection?

Is it because we haven’t really known what we wanted and we were just clutching at straws in the past?

Were we only doing things in the past to shut others up and to please them?

Is it ego raising its head again telling us that we can’t do it?

 

Whatever reasons have been for the past not coming to fruition shouldn’t have a bearing on what we want to do or will do in the future in regards to new dreams and ideas and them being seen to completion.

Events of our past have helped shape the person we are today.

Events of our past have given us results, whether we liked them or not, that have helped us to form ideas, suggestions and plans or have planted seeds about what we want for our future.

 

I don’t think there should be a set number of times or limits applied for anything we dream of.

I don’t think that if events haven’t worked out for us in the past that we shouldn’t keep trying in the future.

I don’t think that if we have been told ‘no’ or have been stopped before that we should be idle now and forever.

 

I believe we should all be striving towards something.

I also believe that we have the right to change what we are striving for if it is not a correct fit for us or working out in the way be believed it would.

I’m not saying to chuck in whatever is not working each and every time, but I am saying to give everything you do a decent go and then when you know it is definitely not a right fit, to change it.

 

Going back to where this all started, the doubting and second guessing ourselves when speaking to others about something we want, it can sometimes take great courage and determination. At times it seems like our hands are bound and it can be a difficult task to do. Sometimes we have time up our sleeves so we have the time to think through our options and sometimes we just grab hold of the first opportunity available to us and just blurt everything out in hast. Whatever is your case, it really doesn’t matter. You need to be heard and to put your proposal across.

 

However, when it does come time to speak up and speak out to others:

~ I have always found it so much easier when I am confident about what it is exactly that I want to be doing.

~ It helps when I can express myself clearly.

~ It helps when I know exactly what it is I want and how I may be able to make it work out.

~ It can also help if I can explain it to those around me, letting them know how it will impact them and what their role or involvement will be moving forward.

 

When the time is taken to think through your idea, when the idea can be put forward with clarity and thought, when considered answers can be given to questions asked, the whole process can go a lot smoother than you anticipate.

 

Now, I’m not saying that everyone will be agreeable with you or that you will get the outcome you are looking for.

 

What I am saying is that:

You have to believe in yourself.

 

You have to stand up for yourself and your ideas.

 

You have to put your ideas forward, even if you get shot down in flames – yet again.

 

 

If the people around you know anything about you or truly care about you, they may have seen the changes you want to make coming and they may be more accommodating than you first thought.

Sometimes the answer or result you were hoping for may come a few days or weeks later once the idea has taken hold for those involved. They might need the time and space to ask more questions and get clarity too. They might also be testing you to make sure it is something you truly want.

Sometimes it is the right idea for you, but timing is just not right. If this is the case, there are usually other avenues and measures that can be taken to achieve whatever it is you are thinking about. You can read books, do research, look for other options and just keep working towards your outcome in a more roundabout way. When the timing is right, the pieces will fall into place and everything else you have done along the way will reveal themselves to be relevant and helpful.

 

But, sadly, at other times the outcome we hoped for just won’t be realised.

This is the point where you need to be sure about what it is exactly that you want and how badly you want it. It can sometimes mean that those around you are not in alignment with where you are at and drastic changes need to be made so you can surrounded yourself with others that are more supportive and encouraging of your dreams.

 

Do you really want this change, this new something?

Are you just clutching at straws?

Are you just wanting change for the sake of change?

Are you avoiding some other important aspect of your life?

Will you just be moving from one not so good aspect to another?

Is it a burning desire or just the latest whim that will fade with time?

 

Generally we know in ourselves which is which.

 

When we keep plugging away at it because we have that persistent feeling that won’t give up or leave us alone.

 

When we have a feeling, a knowing.

 

When things just seem to fall in place for us as if a path is being laid down in front of us.

 

That is when you don’t give up and don’t give in.

 

 

What happens when we speak up about what we want to be doing and it doesn’t turn out the way we hoped?

We get angry and frustrated.

But, we also get angry and frustrated when we sit silent and don’t let others know how we are feeling and what are dreams are anyway.

 

So then, should you speak up about what’s on your mind or not?

 

That is entirely up to you. Naturally we would all like to hear the answer we are seeking, but when asking and putting our dream or case across we have to be prepared to hear the opposite of what we want to hear too.

 

You may even need to hear the knock back to give you other options and ideas you haven’t thought about which may be of benefit to you. Sometimes when you meet resistance from others it may be because they aren’t sure what it will mean for them personally. How it impacts them. It could also mean they aren’t on the same journey path that you are on. You could’ve already possibly known this before you put your voice forward.

 

Whenever you do decide to have your voice heard, be prepared to listen and take on board any comments you receive back. There could be important tips and advice you could learn from to propel you forward. Just be prepared either way.

 

 

So then, are you going to be shot down in flames by others

or

are you going to be your own hero clearing your path by burning off the rubbish to make way for the new?

Where We Do Our Learning

 

As we don’t do things ‘normally’, our learning is also not ‘normal’ for where we do it either.

 

For example, you may find us:

  • Outside on a picnic rug in the shade or sun (depending on the weather)
  • On the lounge
  • Sitting on the floor
  • Laying on the floor
  • In bean bags
  • On a pile of cushions and pillows
  • Waiting in the car
  • Reception rooms waiting for appointments
  • In a hammock
  • Sitting in a tree
  • Dining room table
  • Desk

 

This gives you an example of where some of the written and reading work is done, but then there are the more important (in my opinion) areas learning is done too. Such as:

 

Watching documentaries on tv

Just because something has caught our attention or we have an interest in the topic.

 

You-tube

A world of discoveries showing you how to do almost everything. A great place for learning and getting ideas.

 

Attending garage sales, clearance sales and auctions

There are so many items around to look at. You just never know what you will come across. You don’t have to buy anything, but there is usually information and stories swapped to learn more about the items there.

                                                                                                 

The Internet

It can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Good when you find what you are looking for straight away, and not so good when you don’t. Sometimes we are sent on a wild goose chase trying different combinations of words in search of the elusive, being led from site to site, sometimes helpful, sometimes not.

 

Going for walks, riding a bike, riding scooters

It is not only great for exercise, but also great to see what is happening in the area around you. We see what animals are around and what they are doing or have been up to; we see changes in plants and the weather; and depending where we go, also meeting and speaking with other people.

                                                                                                 

 

Going to the shops

Now this is an everyday activity for most of us grown-ups. We may take it for granted and we may even consider it boring or an inconvenience, but it can be a source of learning on lots of different levels. You get to meet people, see rotation of stock, learn about pricing and sales, money management, time management, social networking etc. It can be seen as a basic life skill, but sadly, many children are growing up without these basic skill sets.

 

Parks, wetlands and common areas

Again, a great place to be out in nature as you are never sure what you will see, what you will learn, or who will be there. It is also great for exercise and to get you moving.

                                                                                          

 

Galleries, museums, performances and workshops

These are not only great for learning about past lives and experiences, but also to get ideas for activities you might like to try as well.

 

Factories and business houses

Going behind the scenes to see what goes in making the items we buy and also for their daily running. Good for getting a better insight as to how goods are manufactured and for work experience ideas as well. Can also be good for comparing different products, businesses and ways of life.

 

Basically, everywhere we go, everything we see and everything we do is a learning experience for all of us. We don’t usually write about it and sometimes our learning is even sub-conscious. Sometimes we will see something, but its significance is only realised at a later date, or we can relate back to it at a later time in connection to something else.

 

Learning, as you can see, doesn’t have to be restricted to a certain space or a certain time frame. Learning can happen anywhere and everywhere.

 

Where is your favourite place to learn?

 

13 Reasons Why I Like Learning At Home

I have been giving this a bit of thought lately and decided to compile a list of my favourite aspects of having our child learning at home. There can be so many good (and not so good) aspects so I thought I would write a few down. In no particular order:-

 

1. We learn together

It is not only the student that is learning. We are learning and discovering new things together. We are learning alongside each other at the same time. We can discuss things together, learn from each other, and draw on each other’s experiences and memories as well.

 

2. We don’t have a timetable

There are set tasks that must be completed, but we don’t set down a time frame for when to do those tasks and we don’t allocate a set amount of time in which to do the task. This just doesn’t work for us. It is totally impractical. As long as it is completed I’m not too fussed when it is done or how long it takes.

 

3. We can take our time getting out of bed

Most days we don’t have anywhere to be at a particular time, so we don’t have the stress and frantic pace of getting up, getting ready and getting out the door to join the daily grind. We have a much more relaxed and slower start to our days.

 

4. Every day is a learning day

Although we are using some text books to cover the set curriculum and provide evidence the work is being done, learning is not restricted to books, Monday to Friday, between 9am to 3pm. Every single day we are learning something new. Even on Saturdays and Sundays!

 

5. We are not restricted as a family where we go or what we do

If we need to, or want to go out of town for the day, for a few hours, or for a few weeks, it is easy for us to just get in the car and go. We don’t have to stop and think or prepare ahead. We don’t have to be back at a certain time and we don’t have to organise for someone else to pick our child up. He just comes with us and either does his work while we are away, or does it after we come back if it wasn’t completed before we went away.

 

6. We are a closer family unit

We are one of those weird families where we all get along and don’t mind each other’s company. We all pretty well much know what each other likes and doesn’t like. We are happy doing things together. We are much more connected and we actually enjoy doing things together. It feels like a complete unit as we are all together and doing things together.

 

7. Concepts now make sense when they didn’t when I went to school

As I am having to teach our son concepts on all manner of things, I have to understand them to start with so I can explain them to him. It can be very hard to do this when you don’t understand the concept yourself though. An example of this is fractions. Fractions did my head in at school as they just didn’t make sense to me. Basic fractions were fine and basic sums were too. It was the mixed fractions concept that I couldn’t understand. I dreaded having to explain them to our son. From looking at books and sites on-line, I was able to teach myself how to do them and they weren’t so scary or confusing anymore. This made it a lot easier to teach and I could spend as much time as we needed until it was understood.

 

8. There is more than one way to learn something

There is more than enough time for us to go slow and understand a concept. If something doesn’t make sense the way it is explained the first time, we stop and have a think about it so we can try and work out another way that does make sense. We may also let it lie for a while and come back to it later until it has had a bit of time to be digested.

 

9. We can put off until tomorrow what we didn’t do today

If something comes up that we need or want to do, written work takes a back seat to be done another time. It does get done, just not perhaps when we initially thought it would be. Things pop up all the time that seem just that bit more important or interesting than doing ‘school work’

 

10. We don’t have to stop what we are doing in the middle of the afternoon to collect children from school

That was one of the things that annoyed me a lot when my children were at school. You are settled doing a task, happy with the progress you were making, pleased with how much you had achieved, and then you had to stop part way through, or had to rush through so you could collect your children from school. Not anymore!

 

11. We don’t have to go out anywhere

When the weather is not too flash – it’s too wet, or windy or humid, or we just don’t feel like going anywhere, we can stay at home. We don’t have to go out, do drop offs or pick-ups. We just stay at home in our comfy clothes.

 

12. There is room for individuality

I found that in a classroom setting, you tended to copy what someone else was doing, or you tried to do what everyone else was doing so you would seem to fit in and be just like everyone else. I can also remember times when if you didn’t do things exactly as the teacher was showing you, it wasn’t classified as being correct. There only seemed to be one way to do things and if things weren’t done that way you were doing it wrong. There was no room for personal expression, no room for creativity or individuality. We tend to follow our own methods and our own ways at home. We may start out leading by example and showing a way, but we encourage thinking outside the box to see what else can happen or what else we can create. There is no wrong or right way, there is just experimenting and learning.

 

13. We learn in the real world

As we are not restricted with times and places and ideas like most people, we get out in the real world where real things are happening and experience what is happening and going on near us. It is much easier to learn about nature by being out in it. It is much easier to learn about art by being creative. It is much easier to witness change by checking back in, or re-visiting places. It is much easier to learn about the things we are interested in by being hands on, getting dirty and doing it ourselves.

 

 

There you have it 13 Reasons Why I Like Learning At Home

I am sure there are many more things I could’ve included, but these are the ones that jumped into my head quickly. Don’t get me wrong, learning at home can be tiresome and make you want to pull your hair out, but it is far outweighed by the points I have mentioned above.