I wonder what just seeing that word bought up for you emotionally?

I know it can strike fear and terror in some people.

 

Accountability means being accountable for something or someone.

You are the one responsible.

You are the one to blame when it all goes pear shaped and doesn’t turn out the way it’s meant to be.

It is about standing up and saying “It is me. I am the one.

 

Account

Some people may look at the word accountability and only see the first part of the word and become stuck. The word “account”. As in reference to a back account. How much money you don’t have to live on or how much money you don’t have saved up and put away. Or even in reference to outstanding bills and debts.

 

Count

The word accountability also contains the word “count” which again strikes fear in some people. Firstly with feelings that they themselves don’t ‘count’, meaning they are feeling left out or left behind, and secondly, it has to do with numbers. Perhaps you weren’t very good with numbers and maths at school, or again, the numbers in your bank account are too low. Life just isn’t adding up for you the way you would like it to.

 

We all tend to get ourselves caught up in too many ‘things’ all at once, or neglect the really important ‘things’ in our lives and then when ‘things’ don’t turn out the way we hoped they would, we become confused and sometimes start blaming other people or come up with excuses as to what went wrong and why.

Instead we just need to look to ourselves and inside ourselves.

We are the ones accountable for our words and our actions. No-one else can make us do things and say things.

 

Yes you may feel pressured, but ultimately it is only you that speaks the words or follows through with the actions. You are the one doing it. You are the one who is accountable.

 

From time to time we all need to take a look at our lives or a particular aspect of our lives and see where we are not happy. We need to decide what we can do to change it for the better and actually do something about it.

Perhaps it is a relationship you are in, or your weight, or your job, or the mind boring, numb ‘things’ you do on a regular basis.

 

You are the one accountable for your life and you are the one who has to change it if you are not happy with it.

 

You see, not being accountable for events in our lives is living a false life.

We are telling ourselves lies. We are telling ourselves it is one ‘thing’ when it is actually another. ‘Things’ just seem to snowball and get larger, more out of control. We dig ourselves into bigger holes until we feel totally overwhelmed and can’t see our way out anymore.

What we should be doing instead, is sticking our hand up to say “It was me”. “I did it”.

Usually facing the music straight up is less painful and less traumatic then when we drag things out, hiding behind others and blaming others. We tend to over dramatise our events and situations and start playing silly games in our heads about what we ‘think’ will happen, or what we ‘think’ people will say or what we ‘think’ people will do. We cause ourselves much more pain and anguish than if we were to be accountable straight up.

 

Perhaps you are in a place right now where you have been slowly digging that hole for yourself and ‘things’ have now come to a head? You have hit rock bottom. There is no escape. There is nowhere to go.

What do you do?

You feel like a trapped animal. You are frightened. You are scared. You are unsure of what to do, how to respond, where to go.

The hardest thing you can do in this situation is to keep hanging on, keep blaming other people, keep talking yourself down, or whatever else it is you are doing. Just stop.

Stop doing whatever it is you are doing.

 

Let go.

 

Just let go.

 

Give in.

 

Give up.

 

Just go with what is being dealt to you or being offered to you.

 

No it’s not easy to do, but ‘things’ will change. Your life will get better.

 

No you don’t know what is going to happen, but yes you will get a chance to turn your life around.
You will get to learn from these events and you will get to make a new go of ‘things’, in your life.

Yes you may lose your partner, your job, your car, your house, your reputation – but all of this is usually only short term. You can move on with your life and have new jobs, and cars and houses and everything else again – if you choose.

 

 

Let’s be honest….

If you were to be honest with yourself, you have probably been aware of this time coming for quite a while and have been ignoring it by carrying on with your life in your usual way instead of addressing the issues that needed addressing at the time.

 

You have forced yourself into the predicament you are in by not being accountable.

 

Stand up now and acknowledge that you neglected certain aspects.

 

Acknowledge that you stuffed up, and just go with the flow to change ‘things’.

 

‘Things’ are going to change anyway now, so make the most of it by playing an active part in the decision making process while you can. You may find it is not all the doom and gloom you are making it out to be and you may actually have choices and options that you can take which are to your liking.

 

You are being forced now to make changes in your life that you didn’t want to make before.

It is a bit like being given a second chance to have another go. Step up and do ‘things’ a bit differently.

 

It can be scary not knowing where you will go, what you will do, how you will do it, but you just get in and have a go with what is being offered to you.

 

Get in and change your life, the people you are with, where you are located, how you are getting about, even what you are eating.

 

Quite often when we face these deep, dark moments in our lives – where everything seems impossible and all we want to do is hide under the covers of our bed in a dark room, not go anywhere, not see anyone, not do anything, just be – they are the moments when we emerge into a rich, new, beautiful life that we created for ourselves as we were forced into them because that is where we are meant to be. We just got side-tracked and would never have chosen that way of being when we were living our lives before the dark and confusion.

 

Sure you can spend lots of money on programs and coaches and tools and other ‘things’ that may make you feel better in the short term, but it is the long term you need to be thinking about. Further down the road in your life. You need to be making long term plans and goals.

 

You need to step up and be accountable for your own life.

 

You are the one who has to have a mind shift, a change in attitude and behavior.

 

Other people can help you keep on track, keep track of your progress, encourage you, etc, but it is you who has to take charge.

 

You have to be accountable for making changes and seeing them through.

 

 

If you are at that point in your life at the moment where you are ready to be accountable for your own life, you are probably feeling very scared, unsure, intimidated, withdrawn, hopeless etc., etc., etc.

What is it you are fighting?

What are you hanging on to that you should be letting go of?

 

 

You radiate light from within.

It has been dimmed, but it has not yet been extinguished.

 

 

Find the time to sit quietly and peacefully to find that spark of light inside you. Focus on it, send it love and nurture it with positive thoughts and actions.

It takes time to build it back up again, it takes strength and courage to build it up again, but it is worth it.

 

Focus on your light to find out what it needs to grow again.

Is it time alone?

Is it self-love?

Is it acceptance?

Is it moving away?

 

Embrace your life.

Be accountable for how it is now.

 

Be accountable for the changes you make in your life and for the life you want to live.

 

Do you give your power away?

Do you give in to others?

Do you keep quiet when you should be speaking up?

 

We ALL have powers. We ALL have beliefs. We ALL have hopes and dreams. Some of us have the strength, the will power, the determination and the ability to go after what we want. Some of us know what we want, know we can’t do it by ourselves and find a way to make it happen. Some of us keep on dreaming and let them all slip away from us.

 

Do you fit one of the above, or do you fit somewhere in between?

 

There may be some aspects of your life where you are rock solid, know what you want, know what you stand for and you won’t let other people push you off track or stand in your way. There may be some aspects of your life where you don’t really have an opinion and don’t really mind the outcome of the situation and you just go along with the flow of what is happening around you.

 

Then there are times when you do have an opinion about something or there is an outcome you are hoping for, but you don’t speak up to put your views across. You know what you want. You know what is right. You know what needs to be done. You know how it should be done. You know you need to speak up, or take control. Yet you don’t.

 

Something is stopping you from speaking out, from contributing, from taking charge.

 

You don’t know what it is, but it just stops you.

 

Is it the people around you? Is it the situation you are in? Is it a sense of overwhelm of what has to be done? Is it a feeling from your past? Is it voices from the past re-surfacing again?

 

Whatever it is, it is sucking your power from you.

 

You have thoughts, feelings, ideas and dreams. You need to hold true to them. You need to believe in them and you need to believe in you.

 

You are a wonderful being of power

 

Power comes in many forms. It can be in your ability to make something, to perform, to create, to speak, to move, to make things happen.

Power could also be described as a talent – whether it is hidden or exposed.

When we are not being true to ourselves and standing up for ourselves, we are giving our power away to others, slowly, piece by piece until we resemble merely a shell of our previous selves.

 

Picture this….. You are going to be going out with friends for tea. There is a bit of a discussion about where you should go. ‘This’ place is mentioned. ‘That’ place is mentioned. You know both places, but you would much rather go ‘Here’. You have had a rather hectic week and are feeling a bit flat. You don’t really enter into the discussion and just go along with the decision of the others. The big night arrives. You are happy with the way you are looking. You are ready to be waited on, not having to cook, not having to clean up afterwards. You are ready to just relax and have fun. You are eager to go out and be with your friends, but you have a lingering doubt about where you will be going to eat. Recently you had heard some not so good reports about the place you are headed to. You decide to put what you have heard out of your head and decide to have a great night out regardless. The venue seems the same, the staff look a little light on and seem a bit frazzled. When your meal arrives, it is not what you are expecting and the portion size is more like a sample size than an actual meal. No-one is happy with their meals and it puts a damper on your very infrequent night out. All the while, there is a little voice inside your head that keeps reminding you that you should’ve spoken up. You should’ve told your friends what you had heard about the place. You should’ve spoken up and voiced your opinion. The little voice is now name-calling you for not speaking up and constantly reminding you of what a terrible meal you had, all because you didn’t speak up.

 

You gave in. Or more accurately, you didn’t contribute and now you are giving more of yourself away, giving more of your power away as you are playing “I should have” games, all the while weakening you even further. “I should have said something”. “I should have let them know”. “I should have cancelled”. “I should have stayed home”.

 

You were being a mouse. You just couldn’t be bothered making a contribution and being a part of the conversation. You were already feeling flat and didn’t want to make it worse by being drawn into the conversation. You felt like you then had to come up with an alternative and just in case it proved to be just as bad as the reports of the other place you had heard, you decided to keep quiet, even though you knew you should speak up.

 

You are a peace keeper. Going along with the flow, not wanting to rock the boat, not cause waves or disrupt anything for anyone else, BUT you have upset and disrupted yourself in the meantime. This takes power away from you.

There are many situations each and every week, if not every day, where we do not stand in our power and stand up for ourselves

 

Now I am not saying for you to go out there causing confrontation and making a scene of everything you do, but more of a gentle approach of calmly voicing your opinions and ideas. Of gently sharing your thoughts and knowledge.

By doing this slowly and gently, one view at a time, you will build up your power again and re-gain your strength to be the person you want or need to be (again).

 

Each time you hear those negative voices and thoughts in your head, ignore them. Tell them to be quiet. Tell them to go away. Tell yourself the opposite of what they are saying. Talk yourself up and remind yourself how wonderful, amazing, clever and creative you are. It may even help you to write a list of all the powerful things you are and do. Keep it somewhere visible such as the fridge, wardrobe door or in your diary.

 

 

It may not feel like it at times, but your power is needed

 

 

It is ok for your power to wane and to flutter as you lose your way for one reason or another, but it is not ok for you to have it taken from you or for you to be giving it away.

 

You are needed to step up and to be in your power.

 

Stand up for yourself. Believe in yourself and regain your power!