This Winter we have seen a lot more fog returning to our area as we have had rain throughout the year. It has been wonderful to have rain again after such a long period without it. It is so refreshing and rejuvenating to not only the plant and animal life, but human emotions and life as well. Having rain also means having fog as there is more moisture in the air and in the ground. They go hand in hand.
You can’t see your way through fog. It is sometimes so thick it is hard to see more than a few metres in front of you. You just don’t know how long it will hang around for. You have very little to no idea what is on the other side of it. It seems so mysterious as it cloaks all in a veil of secrecy only to be revealed once you have got to that certain point.
Fog isn’t too bad. Most of the time. But lately I have had reason to be up and about driving long distances in it and it hasn’t all been fun.
Some mornings the fog is well and truly set in before I have to leave and on other days you can see it start to slowly roll in as I am driving along knowing for sure that I will end up having it for company whether I want it or not.
For some reason I tend to tense up when driving in fog. I guess it is the unknown and not being able to see far enough ahead for my liking. I don’t know how far I will have to drive in it before it lifts. It is hard to see other vehicles on the road coming towards me (especially if they aren’t driving with their lights on!!!!!). You don’t always see far enough out from the edge of the road to notice wildlife jumping or scuttling out in front of you. Even when you know the road will bend right or left or you have a long straight stretch in front of you, you still have to sit behind the cars slowly lining up in front of you as it is not safe to pass. Just when you think the fog is starting to thin out and you will be able to see your way clear, or make your break, the fog gets thick again.
I have been relaxing a lot more with the fog. It could be to do with how much driving I have been doing in it, or it could be my change in attitude towards it.
Fog can be very mysterious as it has so many unknown qualities as I mentioned above, but like a lot of events that happen throughout our lifetimes, if we just learn to relax and lean into what is happening, we seem to get through it a lot quicker and it seems to be less painful. I wouldn’t say it gets easier to live with or deal with, we just have less expectations or less attachments to a certain outcome.
We grow accustomed to being a certain way. We start to believe we have our life mapped out for us and we think we know what we are meant to be doing and how we are meant to be doing it. We think we know every little bump or road block that will come up, every little twist in the road, every little distraction, every little exist that we will be able to make. But then we get thrown the curve ball and obstacles are put in our way.
It could be a sudden life changing event such as an accident, illness or loss, or it may be a slow, gradual event or dawning of awareness that seems to sneak up on us without much notice on our behalf.
Like everything in life,
it is not so much what it is you have to deal with and need to learn to cope with,
it is how you choose to respond to it.
Yelling, fighting back and verbal abuse might help to let off some pent up anger and frustration (which can be a good thing – getting rid of pent up emotions, not the abuse), but it is only a short term measure that will only help to alienate you and what you are going through even more.
Instead you should choose to accept what you are going through,
make yourself aware of all your options and
choose the way you wish to deal and cope with your life circumstance
in the way that will be most comfortable and achievable for you.
When driving out in the fog we have the option of slowing down so we can react a bit quicker to sudden changes that may need to be taken, such as for reading signs or looking for wildlife. We have the option to leave earlier and arriving later to reach our destination safely. We have the option to put our lights on to make it safer for us as other vehicles approach so they know there is another vehicle coming towards them and also where the road ahead is leading them. We also, sometimes, have the option of staying put and not going out in it.
In life we can do the same things too. We can slow down to give our bodies and mind time to rest and recover. We can also leave earlier and arrive later to stay longer or for less time for appointments or events we need to be at. We can let others around us know what we are going through so they can be aware of our circumstances and measures can be put in place to make allowances for us. We can also stay put and do nothing to help ourselves or help others.
These are all measures and actions we can take in not only driving in the fog, but also in our own lives to make the road ahead for us a bit more manageable. I am not saying that once you seem to be out of the fog that your path ahead will be any easier, but at least it is one more challenge in your life that you have been able to navigate your way through and gain experience from which will make it a little less scary the next time you have to deal with the same or similar situation.
One thing is for sure though,
the fog will always lift and you will move on to another phase.
One way or another.
Just like the fog, in life you just need to trust you are going the right way, you are on the right path and you are doing the right thing. You don’t need to know where you are going exactly. You don’t need to know all the details. All will become clear and be revealed to you when you are closer and when the time is right.
Learn to encompass the unknown.
Let go of your expectations and embrace the feeling of being unsure or confused.
They are all emotions that need to be felt too and who knows what mystery will be revealed for you at the end???