How many times have you been told you need to change things, or that to move forward you need to let go of the past, or that you need to do things differently?
How many times have you heard it said that in order to move forward you must change your ways?
It is alright for the people dishing out this advice and wisdom, but often it is easier said than done, isn’t it?
It is easy to say we need to change, but when you don’t know what it is you need to change or you don’t know how to change, what are you expected to do?
To change means that you either need to do what you are doing in a different way, or that you need to stop doing it altogether to do something else.
If you are feeling unwell and have been advised to change your diet or do particular exercises, you have been given direct information of what you need to do to make changes, so it is then up to you to make sure you follow through with the instructions.
Or perhaps you have been told to stop eating a particular food as it does not agree with your digestive system. If you follow the advise and change your diet, then you will see an improvement in your health. If you do not follow the advice, you will continue to have digestive issues.
These are pretty straight forward examples, but when it is not as straight forward and you have not been given any advice what do you do?
You could consider discussing your particular issue with friends, family members, counsellors, medical professionals, work colleagues etc.
You could consider meditation, mindfulness activities, consulting tarot cards or oracle cards or other forms of divination of your liking.
You could also choose to just do your day to day activities in a different order or manner to how they are usually performed.
For example, if you would usually put on your right sock first, try putting your left sock on first for a while. If you would usually put your underpants on first, try putting your bra on first for a while.
These simple activities might sound a bit odd and may feel a bit uncomfortable at first as it is not the usual way you do them, but after a while it becomes more normal. The reason for this is because you are activating other areas of your brain that would otherwise still be inactive. Like any new activity it can take a bit of getting used to, but after a while it can become second nature.
Let me give you another example. Let’s say you have a particular parking spot you like to use when going out to the shops. Instead of parking in that same area, try parking further away, on a different level, or in another block altogether. This will then force you into changing your routine as you will have to walk a bit further, giving you a bit more exercise, it will allow you time to look at other shops, buildings or nature that you would normally just drive past or not notice at all, plus it gives your body a chance to learn to adjust to a new way of being.
Now this might seem like a very basic step to take, but on your further journey to the shops you may encounter people you have never come across before, it may allow you to contemplate something that has been on your mind bugging you, you could discover new products and your may find you actually like this new parking area a lot better.
Yes you will have days when you are in a bit of a rush and it is quicker and easier to go back to the old parking spot as it may be more convenient, but try to stick to the new way as much as you can.
Clothing is another way of making a simple change in your life. If you have been wearing the same style or similar colours for a while, why not be a bit daring and change up your wardrobe a bit by buying or making one piece of clothing in a different style or colour? Even just going to try on something that you would usually not try on can be intimidating, but liberating at the same time. Who knows, you might just find a new style, colour or fit that you didn’t know you had been looking for.
Hair style is another option for making a change in your life. I had longer hair for most of my life and a couple of years ago I told my family I was going to get it “chopped off”. They were shocked when I came back and it was short. They knew I was going to get it “chopped off”, but they just thought I meant a little trim like I usually had. It took them a while to get used to it, but for me it was freeing and liberating to have a totally new style. It felt cool and fresh. I liked it. I received a lot of positive comments about it. It was like a new me!!
To make change you need to let go.
I guess that is why a lot of people don’t like change.
They may feel like they are loosing control. They may feel like they are getting left behind. They may feel like they are happy with the way their life is.
But when you can be the one in control and calling the shots of what to change and how it will look for you, it is extremely powerful.
Your are guiding the changes in a way that suits you.
You are in command.
You are the driving force.
You are doing what you please in a way that is best for you (even when you are unsure of what you are doing, what the outcome will be or what is actually going on).
When we learn to let go, or when we do the activities that we want to be doing, we are allowing ourselves to be happy, we are allowing ourselves to be adventurous, we are allowing ourselves to be free and we are giving ourselves permission to be.
We need to make changes in our lives, one way or another so we don’t become stagnant.
We need to make changes in our lives so we can continue to be challenged and so that we can continue to learn, grow and be amazed.
Making change does not need to be difficult or complicated.
Making change can be a simple process:
~ The first step is to realise an area of your life you are not happy with or that you would like to create a bit of spark in.
(Now if you can’t think of any or can’t decide on what to change first, just pick the first thing that comes to your mind.)
~ Secondly, contemplate what it is exactly that is bugging you and why it is bugging your so much.
~ Thirdly, come up with as many ways as you can think up of how you can change the situation to a more favorable outcome or desirable result for you.
~ Fourthly, decide on one small action that you can take to test the waters of your new way of being. Now, be warned that at first it may not be as desirable as you expected, that it may take a lot longer than you anticipated, that you may meet resistance from others or yourself, but, if it is truly what you are wanting, just keep pushing through until you get your desired result.
(Also be warned that you might be happy with the change you made and you might want more!!)
~ Lastly, once you have your desired outcome, celebrate. Let everyone see or know what you have done. Be proud. Stand tall. Own the new you.
The reason we come up against resistance when we want to change something in our lives, even when we know it is for the best, is because we have become too comfortable or too complacent with how our lives have been. Our mind and our body has gotten used to a particular way of being and doing and it doesn’t always like to be told to do things differently. It sometimes prefers to be on auto-pilot.
We need to retrain our mind and body to a new ways of being and doing. It is just like exercising. Yes we know we should do it. Yes it takes effort. Yes it can hurt, but ultimately when we do it and stick with it for a while the pain becomes less, it becomes easier to do, it takes less time to do, we learn to vary our actions to increase the level of difficulty for better results and when we start to see the results from our work we wonder why we didn’t do it sooner.
You need to stick with the change even when it feels icky or too too hard. Don’t give in and don’t give up. Give the change a fair fighting chance to become the new normal before you declare it a failure or not one of your better ideas.
So remember, that to make change we need to retrain our brain and our body.
Now with that in mind, what areas of your life are you not too happy with at the moment that could do with a little bit of a shake up and change to make yourself feel free and liberated? You do want to feel free and liberated, don’t you???