Do you give your power away?
Do you give in to others?
Do you keep quiet when you should be speaking up?
We ALL have powers. We ALL have beliefs. We ALL have hopes and dreams. Some of us have the strength, the will power, the determination and the ability to go after what we want. Some of us know what we want, know we can’t do it by ourselves and find a way to make it happen. Some of us keep on dreaming and let them all slip away from us.
Do you fit one of the above, or do you fit somewhere in between?
There may be some aspects of your life where you are rock solid, know what you want, know what you stand for and you won’t let other people push you off track or stand in your way. There may be some aspects of your life where you don’t really have an opinion and don’t really mind the outcome of the situation and you just go along with the flow of what is happening around you.
Then there are times when you do have an opinion about something or there is an outcome you are hoping for, but you don’t speak up to put your views across. You know what you want. You know what is right. You know what needs to be done. You know how it should be done. You know you need to speak up, or take control. Yet you don’t.
Something is stopping you from speaking out, from contributing, from taking charge.
You don’t know what it is, but it just stops you.
Is it the people around you? Is it the situation you are in? Is it a sense of overwhelm of what has to be done? Is it a feeling from your past? Is it voices from the past re-surfacing again?
Whatever it is, it is sucking your power from you.
You have thoughts, feelings, ideas and dreams. You need to hold true to them. You need to believe in them and you need to believe in you.
You are a wonderful being of power
Power comes in many forms. It can be in your ability to make something, to perform, to create, to speak, to move, to make things happen.
Power could also be described as a talent – whether it is hidden or exposed.
When we are not being true to ourselves and standing up for ourselves, we are giving our power away to others, slowly, piece by piece until we resemble merely a shell of our previous selves.
Picture this….. You are going to be going out with friends for tea. There is a bit of a discussion about where you should go. ‘This’ place is mentioned. ‘That’ place is mentioned. You know both places, but you would much rather go ‘Here’. You have had a rather hectic week and are feeling a bit flat. You don’t really enter into the discussion and just go along with the decision of the others. The big night arrives. You are happy with the way you are looking. You are ready to be waited on, not having to cook, not having to clean up afterwards. You are ready to just relax and have fun. You are eager to go out and be with your friends, but you have a lingering doubt about where you will be going to eat. Recently you had heard some not so good reports about the place you are headed to. You decide to put what you have heard out of your head and decide to have a great night out regardless. The venue seems the same, the staff look a little light on and seem a bit frazzled. When your meal arrives, it is not what you are expecting and the portion size is more like a sample size than an actual meal. No-one is happy with their meals and it puts a damper on your very infrequent night out. All the while, there is a little voice inside your head that keeps reminding you that you should’ve spoken up. You should’ve told your friends what you had heard about the place. You should’ve spoken up and voiced your opinion. The little voice is now name-calling you for not speaking up and constantly reminding you of what a terrible meal you had, all because you didn’t speak up.
You gave in. Or more accurately, you didn’t contribute and now you are giving more of yourself away, giving more of your power away as you are playing “I should have” games, all the while weakening you even further. “I should have said something”. “I should have let them know”. “I should have cancelled”. “I should have stayed home”.
You were being a mouse. You just couldn’t be bothered making a contribution and being a part of the conversation. You were already feeling flat and didn’t want to make it worse by being drawn into the conversation. You felt like you then had to come up with an alternative and just in case it proved to be just as bad as the reports of the other place you had heard, you decided to keep quiet, even though you knew you should speak up.
You are a peace keeper. Going along with the flow, not wanting to rock the boat, not cause waves or disrupt anything for anyone else, BUT you have upset and disrupted yourself in the meantime. This takes power away from you.
There are many situations each and every week, if not every day, where we do not stand in our power and stand up for ourselves
Now I am not saying for you to go out there causing confrontation and making a scene of everything you do, but more of a gentle approach of calmly voicing your opinions and ideas. Of gently sharing your thoughts and knowledge.
By doing this slowly and gently, one view at a time, you will build up your power again and re-gain your strength to be the person you want or need to be (again).
Each time you hear those negative voices and thoughts in your head, ignore them. Tell them to be quiet. Tell them to go away. Tell yourself the opposite of what they are saying. Talk yourself up and remind yourself how wonderful, amazing, clever and creative you are. It may even help you to write a list of all the powerful things you are and do. Keep it somewhere visible such as the fridge, wardrobe door or in your diary.
It may not feel like it at times, but your power is needed
It is ok for your power to wane and to flutter as you lose your way for one reason or another, but it is not ok for you to have it taken from you or for you to be giving it away.
You are needed to step up and to be in your power.
Stand up for yourself. Believe in yourself and regain your power!